Friday, October 19, 2007

Reinstatement

I read a book not to long ago by Tim LaHaye called John's Story: The Last Eyewitness. It followed the apostle John through the last couple of years of his life. Obviously, there was some liberty taking in what he was thinking and feeling, but I really enjoyed the book, and got a lot out of it.

One of the things that the book covered was the writing of the Gospel of John. As many times as I've read that Gospel, I totally missed the reinstatement of Peter after his denial of Christ. I was so touched by it...and have been again the last few days...thinking about how much Jesus loved Peter to not just TELL him he was reinstated, but to SHOW him.

John 13:37-38 is where Peter claims that He would follow Jesus, even to death...and Jesus tells him that he will deny Him 3 times. I can only imagine how devastated Peter must have felt. I'm sure Peter didn't WANT that to be a part of who he was...and to have to face it from Jesus...OUCH! John 18:17, 25, and 27 are the fulfillment of this prophecy.

But look what happens later in John.

15When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?"
"Yes, Lord," he said, "you know that I love you."
Jesus said, "Feed my lambs."

16Again Jesus said, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me?"
He answered, "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you."
Jesus said, "Take care of my sheep."

17 The third time he said to him, "Simon son of John, do you love me?"
Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, "Do you love me?" He said, "Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you."

Jesus said, "Feed my sheep.

The more I think about this whole process, the more overwhelmed I am with God's love for me. I mean...Peter never asked Jesus to help him deal with this. Jesus KNEW Peter's heart...He KNEW that Peter didn't WANT to deny him...but that he would out of fear...and He KNEW that it was important to Peter to *feel* restored to Him!

What this speaks to me is that...no matter how *silly* I feel about what I think I need, Jesus doesn't think it's silly. When I'm willing to face and be faced with my own humanity, He's willing and able, not just to put a band-aid on it and tell me it's ok, but to help me through the situation so that I can come to a place where I *feel* restored! The truth is, I already am...because of His blood...but He understands that sometimes I need to *see* it.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

In Awe

David got a phone call from the other party's insurance company this afternoon...ready to settle. With what we've already received from lost wages in July, we'll be getting about half of what we calculated. But now D can go to the uninsured motorist part of the truck insurance for his deductible back...and his ex-boss for the difference between what was paid for the truck and what D owed.

So things are looking up...and it's funny...that I was just sitting here this morning...trying to figure out how to conserve the little extra we had this month from D working extra hours and not having to pay rent/mortgage because of buying the house. We'll get enough to pay most of our credit cards off....which will get us just around what D brings home every month...still too close for comfort for me....tired of living like that when I know God has so much more for me!

I really didn't expect as much as they're offering. It still baffles me that sometimes it's obvious that God's working...and other times it's like finding a needle in the haystack!

Furthermore...

This whole weekend thing is still really bothering me....so many aspects of it. Maybe because it hits so close to home, the comment about birth defects being God's punishment has really stuck in my mind. I am NOT the kind of person to just blow something off because I don't like it. I have asked God, time and time again, if there's something I missed or am missing...something I did or am doing...that caused the clubfoot issue...or is continuing it, rather than allowing it to be healed. Although I do think there's *something* there...it has nothing to do with *punishment*.

In fact, as I was talking to someone about it, I remembered the story in John 9 about the man who was born blind. It TOTALLY negates the *punishment* statement!

John 9:1-5 (Message Bible)

1-2 Walking down the street, Jesus saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked, "Rabbi, who sinned: this man or his parents, causing him to be born blind?" 3-5Jesus said, "You're asking the wrong question. You're looking for someone to blame. There is no such cause-effect here. Look instead for what God can do. We need to be energetically at work for the One who sent me here, working while the sun shines. When night falls, the workday is over. For as long as I am in the world, there is plenty of light. I am the world's Light."

I highlighted the part in red because it's what directly opposes the *punishment theory*. What I see here...is that some things just happen. And it's more important to look FORWARD at what God can (and will) do in the situation, then to look back at the *why*. That's where we all tend to get caught up.

We're still dealing with that with David's accident! Rick Renner dealt with that in the Sparkling Gem I got in my inbox this morning. Although I don't agree that satan can just walk around and do what he wants in our lives without our permission, I do believe that because of the presence of sin and the imperfection of mankind, things happen that can throw us off course of what God has for us. It's in these times that WE have to make the choice to stay on track and not let what we *see* dissuade us from where we KNOW God has us going!

Monday, October 15, 2007

Punishment vs. Consequences

Something happened this weekend that has really gotten me thinking about the difference between punishment and consequences. It's a commonly held assumption that God punishes those He loves. Personally, we have come to believe that those times when it seems that God has *punished* us because of disobedience can better be explained by saying that we have experienced the consequences of our actions.

I think the first example of *punishment* (by those that hold that belief) is the fact that Adam and Eve were kicked out of the Garden of Eden when they ate from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. In fact, if you read Genesis 2:17, it is clear that God told Adam and Eve from the beginning that if they ate from that Tree, that they would die. My curiosity led me to find out what the Hebrew word that was used for *die* means...since there are various sources (religious as well as secular) that hold that often times when the Bible was translated, it was translated to give more power to the religious leaders of the times. The Answers in Genesis website provided an answer (http://www.answersingenesis.org/articles/2007/05/02/dying-you-shall-die). To be honest, what the word means isn't as relevant as the fact that the words that are spoken are clearly stated as an *if...then* statement...which is, in fact, a CONSEQUENCE rather than a PUNISHMENT.

Another issue that came up is the word *discipline*. The Greek translation means *to train up a child*. Some say that includes *punishment*.

When I looked up the Greek word for *punishment* as found in Hebrews 12:6, I found that the Greek word is *Kolasis* and according to Thayer's Greek Lexicon it can be translated as *correction, punishment, or penalty*. So it would seem that it becomes a matter of semantics...and accordingly, a person's *emotional translation*, so to speak. In other words, punishment has a very negative connotation to me, personally. It is the reaction to my action or behavior with the intent to *get back at me* for disobeying in the eyes of the person meting out the *punishment*. Whereas correction or penalty means something very different to me. It is the predetermined response, relative to the rule broken, that is a result of the rule that is broken. As an example...if I walk into the middle of a busy street and get hit by a car, that is not *punishment*, but consequences.

Furthermore, punishment as I understand the meaning of the word, does not show love, but rather vengeance. It is, as I said, a means of getting back at me for doing something wrong...for disobeying in some way, shape, or form. And...that rule is typically unspoken...meaning I am not aware of its presence...nor expecting *correction*. Which, by the way, is the feeling that has been portrayed to me concerning the experiences that occurred this weekend. I am being punished for disagreeing with *leadership*....being rejected for having the audacity to state an opinion different from someone who seems themselves *over* me.

As defined by dictionary.com, punishment means *a penalty inflicted for an offense, fault, etc.; severe handling or treatment.* A consequence, however, is defined as *the effect, result, or outcome of something occurring earlier; an act or instance of following something as an effect, result, or outcome.* In my earlier example, the fact that I got hit by a car was a result of me walking into oncoming traffic. It was not God's punishment.

A better example: David was offered 2 jobs. I believed that the first job was the one he should take, but the money was better at the second job, so he took that one. Several things happened. First he was sent out of town 2 weeks later on this job...which put a huge stress on all of us, mostly because of the accident he had recently experienced. He ended up calling the other job back, who still wanted to hire him, and changing jobs. In the process, he had a few days of not working, which resulted in less income. Also, because of the difference in how the new company paid, we had a stressful month because of a low first paycheck. Was that God's punishment? Some would say yes...but we see it as a consequence. Had we obeyed God, we would not have experienced the stress of David being out of town, or the stress of a lack of finances. Did God DO that to us? NO!!! According to the definitions stated above, it was *the effect, result, or outcome of something occurring earlier.*

Again...if it was PUNISHMENT...why would God have bothered to take care of us through it? The connotation of punishment to me is rejection. Punishment says *you've done this, so I'm turning away from you until you get back on track.* That is NOT God's character...it never has been!

See...if God is a loving God...then even the act of Him turning His face from us (which I don't believe He does, simply because of Christ) would logically be from sadness and disappointment, rather than anger. It's not a rejection, but a reaction of not wanting to see me hurt because I have disobeyed Him.

Now...logically...let me ask a question. How can you have a *relationship* with somebody you are afraid of? How can you have a *relationship* with someone that will choose to punish you at the drop of a hat? Is there anyone that can say that they hear every word God speaks to them AND obeys it? NO! Therefore, punishment, meted out by a just God, leaves little room for relationship, and much room for fear of judgment.

I am NOT saying that there are not consequences for our disobedience. And sometimes those consequences are harsh. But they are a RESULT of our disobedience, rather than an arbitrary act of a God that desires to beat the snot out of us until we decide to choose the way He wants us to go!

I do NOT believe that God turns away from us or leaves us when we disobey, because then He would be a liar and in direct contrast to His statement in Hebrews 13:5, *Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.* (Which, by the way, is a restatement of Deuteronomy 31:6.)

If, in fact, you go back to the Law in the Old Testament, you will see that with each law, God provides a consequence for the breaking of that law. I state again...that *to me* punishment and consequence are NOT the same thing. A consequence is a result...whereas a punishment is an arbitrary act.

Something else that was presented this weekend was that things like 9/11, Hurricane Katrina, even birth defects/deformities, etc. are a result of God's punishment. I vehemently object to that statement and would gladly go toe-to-toe with anyone that truly believes that. If, in fact, 9/11 was God's punishment...what exactly was He punishing...and who? How many people SHOULD HAVE been there and weren't? What were the acts of disobedience that the people who died there committed...and why punish THEM and not ALL people that committed those acts of disobedience? Furthermore...that's an awfully big *blanket* of sin to punish...especially at one time. AND...as I type this...I am reminded of God's words to Noah that He would NEVER send another flood to destroy all life....so why would He punish on such a great scale again? The same goes for Hurricane Katrina...and even the Tsunami? Were there sinners there? SURE!!! But *I* sin...so why spare me?

I take great offense as well in the statement that birth deformities are a punishment of disobedience. I have had 2 children born with clubfeet. The first was completely healed...so did God decide to take back His punishment on me? Or on my child? The second has not received healing yet...but I know as sure as I stand here that God has promised healing for Him. I can say with all honesty, that I was seeking God with EVERYTHING in me at the time my second child was born with clubfoot. I was *doing* everything I knew to do...seeking counsel...praying...tithing...so what was my act of disobedience...or my child's act of disobedience that caused God to *punish* him? If, in fact, his deformity is the result of an act of disobedience, I can honestly say I agree that it is punishment...because I have no idea what either of us did *wrong* to *deserve* the deformity! And I will be as bold to say that I can NOT trust a God (or anyone else) that would mete out a punishment without telling me *why*.

The final statement that was made this weekend that I vehemently disagree with is that we are still under the curse of the law. For starters, let's start out Biblically. Genesis 3:14-19 is where the curse is laid on mankind. However, Galatians 3:13 clearly shows that we are no longer under the curse because JESUS became the curse for us. *Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us, for it is written: "Cursed is everyone who is hung on a tree."* I can also prove experientially that *I* am no longer under the curse. Genesis 3:16 states, *To the woman he said, "I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing; with pain you will give birth to children..."* Joshua's birth was absolutely painless. In fact, I *looked* and *waited* for pain, especially after my water broke...and while I was pushing...but there was NONE! Furthermore, even before this topic came up, I have been thinking about my previous births, and realizing that until my water broke and I was PUT ON PITOCIN, I had not experienced pain with any of my other births! I truly believe, had I been patient and allowed my body to work the way God intended it to, I would not have experienced pain in ANY of my births! I do NOT believe that there is something spiritually amiss with anyone that experiences pain in childbirth. I am simply stating my own personal experiences and beliefs!

I am NOT trying to persuade anyone to change their own beliefs. I am simply stating my own beliefs. I respect the beliefs of others, but would appreciate the opportunity to state my beliefs as well. I believe they are Biblical, and have backed them up to the best of my ability. I have been very hurt this weekend by those who have disrespected my husband and myself, and have rejected us simply because we do not agree. And honestly...is this whole topic even one that matters???? The bottom line is...we get to heaven because of the work of Jesus. THAT is our *ticket*, if you will. The rest is doctrine.

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Prayer time (8/25)

As I was waiting to fall asleep last night I was thinking about contentment. How in the world could Paul be content in any situation? What did he know that I can't seem to figure out ???

I think I'm finally beginning to understand what it means to be content internally....and how that can be the stability I long for. I understand it...but I don't know how to *get it*. How can I not be moved by situations and circumstances?

I have to wonder what Jesus had that enabled Him to live a sinless life. He had the Holy Spirit...and so do I. Was it the 40 days in the desert? I always associate a desert as a very lonely place and time. But maybe He was able to really connect with God in that time so deeply that nothing could shake Him. Is that really possible for me? It sounds like such a mountain! What a paradox!

He grew up in as much...if not more...legalism than I did...I think...lol But somehow He could sit under the teachers in the synagogue and still not let go of who He knew God to be. How???? Was the fact that Mary and Joseph were totally convinced He was God's Son help them to help Him keep His focus? Good grief...I can't find my own way these days! How in the world can I point my children in the *right* direction?!

I know at least part of the root is finding my identity in Christ. It didn't take a lot of effort to find my identity in other people and roles in my life...why does this seem so much harder? To me...that's proof that evolution is garbage. I mean...if it's so easy to adopt the *base* things in life...and so hard to adopt the Godly things...then how can scientists say that people and animals moved *up* in development???

August 25, 2007

I made myself a list of things to do today. Apparently it's the only way things like this can get done! I LOVE crossing stuff off my list!

Kaelyn, Chandler, and Corey are with the Youth Group selling picture vouchers. They went to the mall, a high school football game, and Coolidge Park (among other places) yesterday. David's working in Murfreesboro today. So it's just me and 3 tornadoes at home!

It's supposed to rain today...40% chance...woohoo!!! It's amazing that part of the country can be under water and we're drier than a bone! It rained in town last night...but not here. All we got was some thunder...pttthhhh

I got all my copies made for school...even 3-hole punched and put away! Now I'm just waiting for David to help me get the timeline started. I got the circles made for the days of creation...just haven't drawn the fish, the birds, the animals, or man. I figure God would be insulted if *I* tried to draw them...lol Then we just have some experiments to do about heat and fire...woohoo! By the smell of it, the a/c unit could be part of it...ugh!!!

The news of the day...Bobby Cox finally got smart and is getting rid of *Blow-It-Again-Bob* ...woohoo! I guess that sounds pretty mean. But good grief...don't just look at his record...look at what he's actually done in games! He may not have lost all of them...but he sure pushed the limit in a lot of them...giving away huge leads to end up winning by just a run or two! Maybe some people enjoy living on the edge like that...but not me. They've worked too hard for 8 innings to get where they are just to have someone else push it to the brink of giving it all away. I don't think so! Wonder what will happen next....

Thursday, August 23, 2007

August 23, 2007

Well...here I go again...trying to keep track of my life on a blog. There's so much *extra* going on...

Homeschooling...which I guess isn't really extra...not to us, anyway...

The baby...

The accident...

D's new job...

Not to mention just *growing*...in every aspect...