Another Monday

Well...we seem to have a pattern with Noelle on Mondays...she only catnaps! Needless to say, with all the regular stuff to do in a day...plus extra laundry...it's been a very challenging day. I'm so grateful I have older children to help me with her...cuz I think I'd truly be insane today otherwise!

Jenny told me about Pastor Tim's message yesterday...so I took a few minutes and listened. Really made me miss Ocala...although I don't know that I'd want to be part of such a large church again...too easy to get lost in the crowd! I LOVE the relationships that are developing at Hamilton Life!

Anyway...the main idea of the message is that spiritual health in my home starts with me. That can be overwhelming at times...when it seems like I'm the only one heading in that direction...but he also said that *my* spiritual growth will influence the others in my family to grow...and THAT is encouraging!

He said that spiritual growth is intentional...and that's so true...cuz life gets in the way all too easily. It's something that requires my full attention...cuz if I'm not giving my attention to growing, then it's more than likely on something that will NOT be healthy (like worrying about the stupid tax return!).

I also had something of a breakthrough about the panic attacks. It seems that they started because of something that happened when *I* was vulnerable. That makes sense...but I've been in that *vulnerable* place 4 times since then...and it hasn't happened every time. But I also realized that I'm probably limiting God from delivering me from it by trying so hard to understand the *why* behind it. Then again...if they'd just quit...then I wouldn't have that need to understand them in the first place! Anyway...I'm working on being grateful for deliverance...whether it happens this minute or not.

Claudie sent me a site for a 40 day fast from wrong thinking. I checked out the first day, and I'm very excited to work through it. My thinking has been horrible since I started grappling with the taxes...and I hate the feeling that I'm going backwards in the way I see my life.

Speaking of taxes, a friend is checking into some questions we have about our tax return. The whole thing is just a mess to me...and losing all the paperwork in the accident surely didn't help. If we EVER own our own business again, it will be a business that makes enough money to hire an accountant!!!