Changes

A friend referred me to a website by Cynthia Hancox...who is writing a series of books for Moms called Goodbye Chaos, Hello Peace! In the introduction, Cynthia writes,

"...we may be willing and determined to change, but we are still weak human beings, and ultimately we fall far short of all that we were designed to be."

There's so much there! Where do I start????

I AM willing and VERY determined for things in and about my life to change. I see things changing. And I see the difference in ME that *I* am deciding NOT to go back to certain places. And yet, in those decisions, there is a great deal of pressure I feel to KEEP that determination strong. There is a fear of failing...of letting my guard down in a weak moment that will undermine all I have *worked* for. But at the same time, I know that "I" am not responsible for anything more than agreeing with God about my situation. So I'm thinking this "pressure" that I'm feeling is a result of a deeper change that needs to occur. I'm not sure what that looks like at this point. I know, though, that recognizing this need is a good, positive step forward.

At Word of Faith we repeated something after Pastor Time every service. The line I'm thinking of states that "I will never be the same". I always repeated, always meant it...and I suppose to some degree it was happening. But never to the degree that it's happening now. There IS something different inside of me. But it still seems somewhat forced...like there is something inside still resisting...or maybe just afraid to accept that it COULD happen for me!