Friday, November 21, 2008

Amazing....Absolutely Amazing...

Yesterday was....well...interesting. I was exhausted from being up too early...and it was an emotional day on top of it. So I was definitely ready for bed when Noelle decided at 8:30 that she couldn't sleep alone.

I was amazed that the *struggle* to remain in a state of gratitude wasn't the *fight* it used to be. I can definitely attribute that to God. I've realized that I can't even cast my cares without His help. So now I don't even try. I just say, "God...I really don't want to worry about this issue...but I can't even give it to You on my own...I need Your help to let it go." Maybe I've finally just hit the bottom of me (only took 41 years!)...or maybe I finally realized that's the only way ANYTHING works...I don't know. But whatever it is...I'll take it. I do have to admit that it was a little more challenging when I wasn't *intellectually engaged* by writing or teaching or planning.

The most amazing thing, though, was that David more than tripled his bonus amount yesterday! I texted him in the early afternoon to see how things were going and he gave me a very general answer. I knew he had 5 appointments scheduled, and that it would probably be a late night for him. I was shocked...and a little worried, I'll admit... when he came home at 6:15. He proceeded to tell me that he was able to save a policy he thought he would lose...which was awesome in itself...and then about a couple little policies he sold. So I asked how far he was from bonus and he smiled and said, "I blew it out of the water!" I'm sure I started glowing at that point...because I realized that it was the GRATITUDE that put him in a position to accomplish what he did yesterday! GRATITUDE allowed HIM to get out of the way so that GOD could work!

THESE are the things I need to meditate on...THESE are the things that match a positive emotion with a concept and allow my heart to be *rewritten* with the Truth of who God is!

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