We say this every year...but I just can't believe it's gone by so fast! I think it was just June yesterday when I woke up...where did the time go?
This year we've watched Noelle smile, turn over, sit up, crawl, walk, and get some teeth...Kyle, Josh, and Chris have all completed at least 1 phonics book... Chris, Kyle, Corey, and Chandler have all completed a math book...we've moved from the life of Jesus to the Dark Ages in history...Chandler and Corey have each gotten a rank advancement in Scouts...Chris moved up to a Bear... Kyle became a Tiger...all 4 boys went to Summer Camp...Kaelyn has completed 10th and 11th grades...she also got her permit...and her first boyfriend...David began working his dream job...and has just changed all around (for the better)
Me...it seems I've just been caught up in the whirlwind of change...jobs... finances...children growing up.... Sometimes I wish it would all slow down... well...the good stuff, anyway...it wouldn't hurt my feelings any if the bad stuff moved a little faster...lol
Overall...it's been a good year. I've learned a lot...grown a lot...and I'm ready to move on to 2009...ready to savor each and every moment with my children... remembering that this is the last few months of childhood for Kaelyn...and how quickly it goes...I don't want to miss a moment...don't want to be too busy.
I went to sleep last night dreaming of the *me* I want to be this coming year. I won't say it's a resolution...Michelle is right...that word just stinks of failure! I want to be more laid back...get things done...but not in a chaotic, forceful way, if that makes sense. I want to be with my husband and children...enjoy them... not be so anxious to do my own thing...
We have a lot to be grateful for this year. God has been so faithful...even though at times we couldn't *see* His faithfulness...we've known it in our hearts...and caught a glimpse here and there.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Mary, Did You Know?
This is David's favorite Christmas song...and here it's done by Chandler's and my favorite group...Kutless.
Enjoy!
Enjoy!
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Today's Funny
David was sitting at the table making his PB&J sandwiches for lunch with Kyle (6) and Joshie (4) looking on. Kyle was telling David about a time when he was 1 and threw up a PB&J. (I know...way gross!) David looked at Joshie and said, "I think he's pulling my leg." Joshie looked down, looked back at David, and said, "No...that's the dog."
Maybe it's one of those "you had to be there" things...or maybe you just have to know Joshie...but it's been making me smile all morning.
Maybe it's one of those "you had to be there" things...or maybe you just have to know Joshie...but it's been making me smile all morning.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Do They REALLY Get It?
I was just reading an article about the Big 3 automakers' plea to Congress to get bailout money to save their companies. I noticed that they drove fuel-efficient cars rather than flying in on their company jets. I noticed, in fact, that at least 2 of them said they'd sell their company jets. I noticed, too, that the United Auto Workers president was there, rallying for the car companies to get their money. The thing that hit me the most, though, was that they are asking for more money this time than they did the last time.
There was a time when I thought the *help* we needed was money. I thought if I could get a little bit of money to help with this problem, then we'd be ok. And for a while, we had friends and family that thought that, too...at least, they gave or loaned us money at the time. But about 5 years ago I realized that *money* wasn't really our problem. To be honest, I'm not sure exactly *what* the problem has been...but it wasn't having or not having money. There was something we had to change about the way we handled money...although I'm still not sure I know what that *something* is. But I digress....
The point is...I see the same problem here. More money is NOT going to help the Big 3. I agree with those who have said they just need to declare Chapter 11 Bankruptcy and move on from there. Granted, I don't understand all of the details...and I CERTAINLY do NOT have the experience of running a company to back me up. But I do know that when something isn't working right, it is simply INSANITY to try to do the same thing and expect it to change. I see the same issue with Wall Street. MORE MONEY isn't going to help. Things need to CHANGE!!!
Just my not-so-humble opinion.
There was a time when I thought the *help* we needed was money. I thought if I could get a little bit of money to help with this problem, then we'd be ok. And for a while, we had friends and family that thought that, too...at least, they gave or loaned us money at the time. But about 5 years ago I realized that *money* wasn't really our problem. To be honest, I'm not sure exactly *what* the problem has been...but it wasn't having or not having money. There was something we had to change about the way we handled money...although I'm still not sure I know what that *something* is. But I digress....
The point is...I see the same problem here. More money is NOT going to help the Big 3. I agree with those who have said they just need to declare Chapter 11 Bankruptcy and move on from there. Granted, I don't understand all of the details...and I CERTAINLY do NOT have the experience of running a company to back me up. But I do know that when something isn't working right, it is simply INSANITY to try to do the same thing and expect it to change. I see the same issue with Wall Street. MORE MONEY isn't going to help. Things need to CHANGE!!!
Just my not-so-humble opinion.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Advent Calendar
This is our Advent Calendar...with a twist. I had one growing up, and I loved counting the days until Christmas. I did not want to make 5 separate calendars...so we made 1 big one. And rather than having candy attached to the calendar, we wrote out clues for each day for each child. So they will have a treasure for the day's candy or treat.
Christmas List
I don't usually do these...but here goes anyway...
1. Real tree or artificial? Real
2. When do you put up the tree? Last year we put it up after Thanksgiving....but this year we're waiting until 2 weekends before Christmas.
3. When do you take down the tree? Sometime between the day after Christmas and New Years...depends on how ready I am to have my living room back.
4.Wrapping paper or gift bags? Paper.
5. When do you start Christmas shopping? As soon as I have the money.
6. Who is the hardest person to buy for? Kaelyn
7. Easiest person to buy for? Noelle
8. Angel on top of the tree, or star? Star.
9. What is the worst Christmas gift you ever got? I don't remember a worst.
10. What is the best gift you received as a child? A dollhouse when I was 7.
11. What is your favorite food to eat at Christmas time? Turkey and sweet potatoes
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
15 Years
Where does the time go?
Fifteen years ago I was at MRMC in Ocala, FL...hugely pregnant...and very disappointed that my contractions had petered out overnight. We were waiting on the doctor to come in and check me to send me home.
At 7:00 AM, 15 years ago, my water broke. I was standing next to the bed watching the TV...David was standing next to me...and I heard, more than felt, a huge splash. I couldn't see past my belly, but I told David I thought my water had just broken and he looked down and said, "I think you're right!" LOL He called the nurse and I headed to the bathroom. A friend had had a hard time delivering because she didn't empty her bladder, and I was determined that wouldn't happen to me.
As I was sitting on the toilet I had my first contraction...and I was PRAYING that I could just go down the toilet with the water it hurt so bad. When it was over I hobbled back to the bed and tried to lay on my stomach. Here comes another contraction...OUCH!!!! And there go my glasses...I threw them across the room!
The next 4 hours are kinda fuzzy. All I know is that those contractions hurt like nobody's business. I sent David on a wild goose chase to find an anesthesiologist so I could get an epidural. But it was the day after Thanksgiving...and there weren't any to be found...not as quick as *I* needed them, anyway. David would come in the room to tell me he couldn't find one...and I remember at one point grabbing him by the belt buckle and telling him to get in the car and drive til he found one! I'm pretty sure I sounded like the girl from The Exorcist at that point.
My father had driven us to the hospital and had sat in a chair quietly watching. One time when David left he came over and rubbed my arm and asked how I was doing. I very sweetly said I was just fine. David wasn't so lucky...he really got the evil twin treatment.
At some point they offered me Demerol and I accepted. They said it would take the edge off the pain. It may have affected someone else's pain...but it did nothing for mine. It allowed me to drift off to sleep in the 30 seconds between contractions. And there's nothing like being jolted awake by a labor contraction...let me tell you!
Finally the doctor said I was at 10 and asked if I wanted to push. Honestly...did he need to ask???? Three pushes later our first son, David Chandler Freed, was born. He was 7 lbs. 8 oz. and 20 in. long. He was beautiful (and still is). He looked very much like David's baby pictures. They cleaned him up and brought him to me, but I was too out of it from the Demerol to nurse him.
By the time I saw my beautiful boy again his eyes were brown. He took to nursing right away, which I was concerned about because I had had so much trouble with Kaelyn. He was so good that the nurses kept telling me not to let him nurse so long at a time or I would be HORRIBLY sore.
I only spent 24 hours in the hospital. I wanted to be home with my family. Chan-man (as Kaelyn called him) was an incredibly easy baby. By 10 weeks he was sleeping through the night...going to bed at 8...waking at 5 to nurse...then drifting back off to sleep until 8. He took wonderful naps and was a very happy baby.
Fifteen years later I am amazed at the young man Chandler has become. He is smart and talented and a joy to be around. I'm so very proud that he is my son!
Happy Birthday, Chandler! I love you!
Fifteen years ago I was at MRMC in Ocala, FL...hugely pregnant...and very disappointed that my contractions had petered out overnight. We were waiting on the doctor to come in and check me to send me home.
At 7:00 AM, 15 years ago, my water broke. I was standing next to the bed watching the TV...David was standing next to me...and I heard, more than felt, a huge splash. I couldn't see past my belly, but I told David I thought my water had just broken and he looked down and said, "I think you're right!" LOL He called the nurse and I headed to the bathroom. A friend had had a hard time delivering because she didn't empty her bladder, and I was determined that wouldn't happen to me.
As I was sitting on the toilet I had my first contraction...and I was PRAYING that I could just go down the toilet with the water it hurt so bad. When it was over I hobbled back to the bed and tried to lay on my stomach. Here comes another contraction...OUCH!!!! And there go my glasses...I threw them across the room!
The next 4 hours are kinda fuzzy. All I know is that those contractions hurt like nobody's business. I sent David on a wild goose chase to find an anesthesiologist so I could get an epidural. But it was the day after Thanksgiving...and there weren't any to be found...not as quick as *I* needed them, anyway. David would come in the room to tell me he couldn't find one...and I remember at one point grabbing him by the belt buckle and telling him to get in the car and drive til he found one! I'm pretty sure I sounded like the girl from The Exorcist at that point.
My father had driven us to the hospital and had sat in a chair quietly watching. One time when David left he came over and rubbed my arm and asked how I was doing. I very sweetly said I was just fine. David wasn't so lucky...he really got the evil twin treatment.
At some point they offered me Demerol and I accepted. They said it would take the edge off the pain. It may have affected someone else's pain...but it did nothing for mine. It allowed me to drift off to sleep in the 30 seconds between contractions. And there's nothing like being jolted awake by a labor contraction...let me tell you!
Finally the doctor said I was at 10 and asked if I wanted to push. Honestly...did he need to ask???? Three pushes later our first son, David Chandler Freed, was born. He was 7 lbs. 8 oz. and 20 in. long. He was beautiful (and still is). He looked very much like David's baby pictures. They cleaned him up and brought him to me, but I was too out of it from the Demerol to nurse him.
By the time I saw my beautiful boy again his eyes were brown. He took to nursing right away, which I was concerned about because I had had so much trouble with Kaelyn. He was so good that the nurses kept telling me not to let him nurse so long at a time or I would be HORRIBLY sore.
I only spent 24 hours in the hospital. I wanted to be home with my family. Chan-man (as Kaelyn called him) was an incredibly easy baby. By 10 weeks he was sleeping through the night...going to bed at 8...waking at 5 to nurse...then drifting back off to sleep until 8. He took wonderful naps and was a very happy baby.
Fifteen years later I am amazed at the young man Chandler has become. He is smart and talented and a joy to be around. I'm so very proud that he is my son!
Happy Birthday, Chandler! I love you!
Monday, November 24, 2008
Generosity
What part does gratitude play in generosity?
This is a thought that has been running through my mind for the last week or so. At this point I think gratitude is absolutely necessary for generosity. You can't give away what you don't have - or what you don't THINK you have. Gratitude is the acknowledgement that you are blessed - at least to some degree. Therefore, you do have something to give.
That being said, I don't think generosity is an automatic outflow of gratitude. For those of us who have been challenged with gratitude issues in the past, I think it's definitely part of the process. But expecting to "feel" generous immediately can be setting yourself up for disappointment.
Yesterday in church the pastor said something that has stuck with me. No matter how little, everyone has something. So now I am trying to envision how to give out of what I have. I have to be honest....I'm stuck here. At this point, even though I am working on gratitude, I am having a hard time envisioning all of my financial obligations being met. Because I can't see HOW, I doubt. (Lord, help me in my unbelief!) It's hard to be or feel generous in that state of mind.
So this week I work on seeing through God's eyes.....allowing myself to entertain the idea that He really will provide my needs....and more, as I step into generosity.
This is a thought that has been running through my mind for the last week or so. At this point I think gratitude is absolutely necessary for generosity. You can't give away what you don't have - or what you don't THINK you have. Gratitude is the acknowledgement that you are blessed - at least to some degree. Therefore, you do have something to give.
That being said, I don't think generosity is an automatic outflow of gratitude. For those of us who have been challenged with gratitude issues in the past, I think it's definitely part of the process. But expecting to "feel" generous immediately can be setting yourself up for disappointment.
Yesterday in church the pastor said something that has stuck with me. No matter how little, everyone has something. So now I am trying to envision how to give out of what I have. I have to be honest....I'm stuck here. At this point, even though I am working on gratitude, I am having a hard time envisioning all of my financial obligations being met. Because I can't see HOW, I doubt. (Lord, help me in my unbelief!) It's hard to be or feel generous in that state of mind.
So this week I work on seeing through God's eyes.....allowing myself to entertain the idea that He really will provide my needs....and more, as I step into generosity.
Friday, November 21, 2008
Faith
The definitions of faith are too numerous to list. Different people have different ideas about what *faith* really is.
In Hebrews, Paul defines faith as believing that God exists and that He cares enough to respond to those who seek Him. (Paraphrase of Hebrews 11:6, Message.)
The first part is easy, really. Most (if not all) people who go to church believe that God exists. It's the second part many are challenged with.
For me, the reason the second part is more challenging, is because I've been taught/led to believe that He responds only when I please Him. Now, taking into account that earlier in that same verse Paul says that it's impossible to please God without faith, it seems that I am in a pickle: He only responds when I please Him, and I can only please Him when I believe that He responds. So where does that leave me???? FRUSTRATED!!!
I think a big part of this for me is to realize that the verse says that "He cares enough to respond to those who seek Him." It doesn't say HOW He will respond...just that He will. So if I'm looking too hard for one thing, and He answers in another way...I'm stuck!
That seems to be part of the difference I've seen lately. I've allowed God out of the box of *this is how I want you to respond to this* and just let Him be God. And He has responded in both expected and unexpected ways.
So today I'm grateful that I can *see* God's responses to me...that He is helping me to be aware of these responses. My prayer today is that God will open my eyes to see even MORE of His responses to me!
In Hebrews, Paul defines faith as believing that God exists and that He cares enough to respond to those who seek Him. (Paraphrase of Hebrews 11:6, Message.)
The first part is easy, really. Most (if not all) people who go to church believe that God exists. It's the second part many are challenged with.
For me, the reason the second part is more challenging, is because I've been taught/led to believe that He responds only when I please Him. Now, taking into account that earlier in that same verse Paul says that it's impossible to please God without faith, it seems that I am in a pickle: He only responds when I please Him, and I can only please Him when I believe that He responds. So where does that leave me???? FRUSTRATED!!!
I think a big part of this for me is to realize that the verse says that "He cares enough to respond to those who seek Him." It doesn't say HOW He will respond...just that He will. So if I'm looking too hard for one thing, and He answers in another way...I'm stuck!
That seems to be part of the difference I've seen lately. I've allowed God out of the box of *this is how I want you to respond to this* and just let Him be God. And He has responded in both expected and unexpected ways.
So today I'm grateful that I can *see* God's responses to me...that He is helping me to be aware of these responses. My prayer today is that God will open my eyes to see even MORE of His responses to me!
Amazing....Absolutely Amazing...
Yesterday was....well...interesting. I was exhausted from being up too early...and it was an emotional day on top of it. So I was definitely ready for bed when Noelle decided at 8:30 that she couldn't sleep alone.
I was amazed that the *struggle* to remain in a state of gratitude wasn't the *fight* it used to be. I can definitely attribute that to God. I've realized that I can't even cast my cares without His help. So now I don't even try. I just say, "God...I really don't want to worry about this issue...but I can't even give it to You on my own...I need Your help to let it go." Maybe I've finally just hit the bottom of me (only took 41 years!)...or maybe I finally realized that's the only way ANYTHING works...I don't know. But whatever it is...I'll take it. I do have to admit that it was a little more challenging when I wasn't *intellectually engaged* by writing or teaching or planning.
The most amazing thing, though, was that David more than tripled his bonus amount yesterday! I texted him in the early afternoon to see how things were going and he gave me a very general answer. I knew he had 5 appointments scheduled, and that it would probably be a late night for him. I was shocked...and a little worried, I'll admit... when he came home at 6:15. He proceeded to tell me that he was able to save a policy he thought he would lose...which was awesome in itself...and then about a couple little policies he sold. So I asked how far he was from bonus and he smiled and said, "I blew it out of the water!" I'm sure I started glowing at that point...because I realized that it was the GRATITUDE that put him in a position to accomplish what he did yesterday! GRATITUDE allowed HIM to get out of the way so that GOD could work!
THESE are the things I need to meditate on...THESE are the things that match a positive emotion with a concept and allow my heart to be *rewritten* with the Truth of who God is!
I was amazed that the *struggle* to remain in a state of gratitude wasn't the *fight* it used to be. I can definitely attribute that to God. I've realized that I can't even cast my cares without His help. So now I don't even try. I just say, "God...I really don't want to worry about this issue...but I can't even give it to You on my own...I need Your help to let it go." Maybe I've finally just hit the bottom of me (only took 41 years!)...or maybe I finally realized that's the only way ANYTHING works...I don't know. But whatever it is...I'll take it. I do have to admit that it was a little more challenging when I wasn't *intellectually engaged* by writing or teaching or planning.
The most amazing thing, though, was that David more than tripled his bonus amount yesterday! I texted him in the early afternoon to see how things were going and he gave me a very general answer. I knew he had 5 appointments scheduled, and that it would probably be a late night for him. I was shocked...and a little worried, I'll admit... when he came home at 6:15. He proceeded to tell me that he was able to save a policy he thought he would lose...which was awesome in itself...and then about a couple little policies he sold. So I asked how far he was from bonus and he smiled and said, "I blew it out of the water!" I'm sure I started glowing at that point...because I realized that it was the GRATITUDE that put him in a position to accomplish what he did yesterday! GRATITUDE allowed HIM to get out of the way so that GOD could work!
THESE are the things I need to meditate on...THESE are the things that match a positive emotion with a concept and allow my heart to be *rewritten* with the Truth of who God is!
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Gratitude
Let's just say that the last few weeks have been less than stellar in the financial department. It certainly has been challenging. I've been praying quite a bit lately that my focus would shift from what the paycheck will be to God's provision, no matter what form that takes. This morning I got to test that request....and it's worked!
I read this blog this morning... http://aholyexperience.com/2008/11/choose-to-pour-oil.html ... and it was such confirmation it made me cry. I have struggled to be grateful...mostly because (as I said in my last post) I have had the tendency to look at what I DON'T have at the same time. But I have been working on that...with God's help...since I've tried on my own and that hasn't gone so well. But things are different.
I've heard that when you mix an emotion with a belief, THAT is when things start to happen. The blog I read this morning explained that a little more. So I've been working on that...thinking of all the things I'm grateful for until I FEEL grateful. It paid off this morning. I had an awesome opportunity to be angry and frustrated. And, quite honestly, that was my first reaction. But it was much more *shallow* than it's been in the past...that much I could tell. But as David and I talked about our situation, I suddenly began to FEEL grateful...to KNOW (in my toes) that everything REALLY DOES work out for me...that we ARE blessed!!! And at that point, I wasn't even trying...I was just trying to survive...lol
I read this blog this morning... http://aholyexperience.com/2008/11/choose-to-pour-oil.html ... and it was such confirmation it made me cry. I have struggled to be grateful...mostly because (as I said in my last post) I have had the tendency to look at what I DON'T have at the same time. But I have been working on that...with God's help...since I've tried on my own and that hasn't gone so well. But things are different.
I've heard that when you mix an emotion with a belief, THAT is when things start to happen. The blog I read this morning explained that a little more. So I've been working on that...thinking of all the things I'm grateful for until I FEEL grateful. It paid off this morning. I had an awesome opportunity to be angry and frustrated. And, quite honestly, that was my first reaction. But it was much more *shallow* than it's been in the past...that much I could tell. But as David and I talked about our situation, I suddenly began to FEEL grateful...to KNOW (in my toes) that everything REALLY DOES work out for me...that we ARE blessed!!! And at that point, I wasn't even trying...I was just trying to survive...lol
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Duh....
Don't ya just hate it when you finally *get* something that you've known (intellectually) all along???
So...this morning I went to my bank account to see what this week's paycheck was. All I'm gonna say is that it's less than stellar. :) Anyway...I figured out what we could do with it and went on my merry way. I think shortly after that I wrote my *Finally* blog. Can you tell I was struggling?
I listened to a sermon by the pastor from Calvary Chapel in Chattanooga about tithing. That has been a HUGE issue to me for a while. It's just never seemed to *work* for us...no matter what we've tried. There were some things that I was questioning...mainly...if *tithing* is so important...then why didn't Jesus teach on it? I was quite surprised to hear this pastor basically say the same thing. However, he didn't stop there. He went on to say that Jesus DID teach about giving. And somewhere in the sermon he said that giving is an act of worship.
Well...there's another topic that's been wandering around in my mind as well. Specifically...what exactly IS worship? So I did a little research on the 'net and found a pamphlet about it. It clarified some things for me...and since I like to find the *bottom line* of things...it boiled down to this for me.
First, worship is because of who God is. (Yes...that's another duh...but not the main one...lol) I have some issues with this part, actually...mostly because I'm still trying to figure out God's character. For many years He was the big, bad ogre...and then for a while He was the benevolent old man. I imagine His character is actually a balance of those two extremes. The biggest things I wonder about when it comes to God is what is His role in my life...and what is my role in regards to my life and relationship to Him. Those questions aside, this part is a gimme.
Second, worship is thankfulness. Here's where the *duh* comes in. I have always been a *glass half empty* kind of gal. So rather than just be grateful, I've always taken the time to point out to God all the things I did NOT have....you know...just to make sure He was still aware that I need them. Even when I worked really hard at just being grateful, those *other* things were always in the back of my mind, just waiting to bound out of my mouth. (Ummm...remember the verse that what a man thinks in his heart, so is he? Ewwwww!!!)
Sometime over the past week or so, God started showing me that nasty part of myself. I must say, I didn't feel condemned...just frustrated and offended that He would DARE to talk to me about being grateful while so many things were going down the toilet. But those thoughts have flashed through my mind quite a bit over the last few days. So I mentioned that to David this morning...and he said that God had showed him the same thing. I'm getting the faint idea that this is something we should deal with...lol
I love to make fun of myself when I *get* things that I'm certain every other person in the world has ALREADY gotten. I feel like the biggest dork...but I can laugh at it. After all, God isn't beating me up over it, so why should I? I mean honestly, maybe if someone sees that I didn't *get it* either, they would be more willing to admit they didn't get it...ya know?
Anyway...I digress. The interesting thing was that this morning it was suddenly *easy* to forget about what I didn't have and focus on what I DO have. I don't care why...I'm just glad THAT wasn't a fight this morning! So David and I have decided to spend just a few minutes every morning talking about how we ARE blessed....and praying for his day. Now here's the kicker. He's had a rough few weeks...after being sick...and people just not wanting to spend money...blah, blah, blah. He had to be home early to take the boys to the fire station for a field trip, but he already made a sale this morning...and a good one at that! Hmmm....wonder if it has to do with going along with where God is taking us....
And to bring this to a close, I want to share how this has changed our children, too. I decided I would start asking them to name something they're grateful for every day...to try to teach them to LOOK FOR blessings...as I learn to do the same. The littler boys didn't hesitate at all. It was almost like my question unleashed something in them. The bigger boys kinda smiled...maybe a little uncomfortable with the thought of sharing something personal. But they really didn't hesitate either. Of course, I had to make sure that Chandler understood he could not say the same thing every day...and that if he said *guitar* today, that encompassed BOTH of his guitars...lol
Did I make up for the whining, complaining post from earlier???? ;)
So...this morning I went to my bank account to see what this week's paycheck was. All I'm gonna say is that it's less than stellar. :) Anyway...I figured out what we could do with it and went on my merry way. I think shortly after that I wrote my *Finally* blog. Can you tell I was struggling?
I listened to a sermon by the pastor from Calvary Chapel in Chattanooga about tithing. That has been a HUGE issue to me for a while. It's just never seemed to *work* for us...no matter what we've tried. There were some things that I was questioning...mainly...if *tithing* is so important...then why didn't Jesus teach on it? I was quite surprised to hear this pastor basically say the same thing. However, he didn't stop there. He went on to say that Jesus DID teach about giving. And somewhere in the sermon he said that giving is an act of worship.
Well...there's another topic that's been wandering around in my mind as well. Specifically...what exactly IS worship? So I did a little research on the 'net and found a pamphlet about it. It clarified some things for me...and since I like to find the *bottom line* of things...it boiled down to this for me.
First, worship is because of who God is. (Yes...that's another duh...but not the main one...lol) I have some issues with this part, actually...mostly because I'm still trying to figure out God's character. For many years He was the big, bad ogre...and then for a while He was the benevolent old man. I imagine His character is actually a balance of those two extremes. The biggest things I wonder about when it comes to God is what is His role in my life...and what is my role in regards to my life and relationship to Him. Those questions aside, this part is a gimme.
Second, worship is thankfulness. Here's where the *duh* comes in. I have always been a *glass half empty* kind of gal. So rather than just be grateful, I've always taken the time to point out to God all the things I did NOT have....you know...just to make sure He was still aware that I need them. Even when I worked really hard at just being grateful, those *other* things were always in the back of my mind, just waiting to bound out of my mouth. (Ummm...remember the verse that what a man thinks in his heart, so is he? Ewwwww!!!)
Sometime over the past week or so, God started showing me that nasty part of myself. I must say, I didn't feel condemned...just frustrated and offended that He would DARE to talk to me about being grateful while so many things were going down the toilet. But those thoughts have flashed through my mind quite a bit over the last few days. So I mentioned that to David this morning...and he said that God had showed him the same thing. I'm getting the faint idea that this is something we should deal with...lol
I love to make fun of myself when I *get* things that I'm certain every other person in the world has ALREADY gotten. I feel like the biggest dork...but I can laugh at it. After all, God isn't beating me up over it, so why should I? I mean honestly, maybe if someone sees that I didn't *get it* either, they would be more willing to admit they didn't get it...ya know?
Anyway...I digress. The interesting thing was that this morning it was suddenly *easy* to forget about what I didn't have and focus on what I DO have. I don't care why...I'm just glad THAT wasn't a fight this morning! So David and I have decided to spend just a few minutes every morning talking about how we ARE blessed....and praying for his day. Now here's the kicker. He's had a rough few weeks...after being sick...and people just not wanting to spend money...blah, blah, blah. He had to be home early to take the boys to the fire station for a field trip, but he already made a sale this morning...and a good one at that! Hmmm....wonder if it has to do with going along with where God is taking us....
And to bring this to a close, I want to share how this has changed our children, too. I decided I would start asking them to name something they're grateful for every day...to try to teach them to LOOK FOR blessings...as I learn to do the same. The littler boys didn't hesitate at all. It was almost like my question unleashed something in them. The bigger boys kinda smiled...maybe a little uncomfortable with the thought of sharing something personal. But they really didn't hesitate either. Of course, I had to make sure that Chandler understood he could not say the same thing every day...and that if he said *guitar* today, that encompassed BOTH of his guitars...lol
Did I make up for the whining, complaining post from earlier???? ;)
Finally....
Since I lost the baby 2 weeks ago tomorrow I have been taking my temp to see when things would be back to normal. After an agonizing 13 days of high temps and 3 negative tests, my temp has FINALLY gone down. At least that part is over. Now to decide where to go from here.
I would LOVE to have another little girl close to Noelle. But since David was sick, our income has plummeted. Thankfully we have had enough to pay most of our bills, but there are a couple that remain outstanding. David has been working his butt off since he got better....but so many people have lost their jobs...or are about to...and selling anything is like getting blood out of a rock. So...here we sit...just having saved our house from foreclosure...wondering if we'll end up right back in the same boat.
Needless to say, all of this has me wondering about God...like...where in the world is He???? I'm so tired of fighting my own thoughts and getting nowhere...you know...trying not to think negatively or pessimistically. This is somewhat where I was a couple of weeks ago....asking God for tangible evidence. And then I got that positive test...and there it was. Now the positive test is gone...yet apparently God still expects me to believe He really does love me...as my life seems to continue to go down the toilet.
I think of that Greek woman (I think she was Greek) that asked Jesus for something and He told her that what He had was for the Jews and she said that even dogs got crumbs from the table and so He blessed her. Why can't I see myself any better than the dog getting the crumbs from the table? Quite honestly, I'm tired of trying. It's not something I can do on my own. And I'm totally lost on how to tap into the strength of Jesus. I feel like I've tried it all and it just doesn't work for me...yet I know that's not the truth either.
What is the connection I'm missing?
I would LOVE to have another little girl close to Noelle. But since David was sick, our income has plummeted. Thankfully we have had enough to pay most of our bills, but there are a couple that remain outstanding. David has been working his butt off since he got better....but so many people have lost their jobs...or are about to...and selling anything is like getting blood out of a rock. So...here we sit...just having saved our house from foreclosure...wondering if we'll end up right back in the same boat.
Needless to say, all of this has me wondering about God...like...where in the world is He???? I'm so tired of fighting my own thoughts and getting nowhere...you know...trying not to think negatively or pessimistically. This is somewhat where I was a couple of weeks ago....asking God for tangible evidence. And then I got that positive test...and there it was. Now the positive test is gone...yet apparently God still expects me to believe He really does love me...as my life seems to continue to go down the toilet.
I think of that Greek woman (I think she was Greek) that asked Jesus for something and He told her that what He had was for the Jews and she said that even dogs got crumbs from the table and so He blessed her. Why can't I see myself any better than the dog getting the crumbs from the table? Quite honestly, I'm tired of trying. It's not something I can do on my own. And I'm totally lost on how to tap into the strength of Jesus. I feel like I've tried it all and it just doesn't work for me...yet I know that's not the truth either.
What is the connection I'm missing?
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Anger vs. Pain
As much as I hate to admit that I'm learning anything in the midst of this...mess...I have to say that I've learned something important about myself....and I imagine it holds true to a lot of people. I would MUCH rather be angry than hurt.
If I'm angry I can blame someone...lash out at them...be mean to them...in an attempt to make myself feel better. It feels good to be *right* and to prove to someone else that they're *wrong*.
Hurting...well...it hurts...and who in their right mind wants to hurt???? Nothing seems to relieve it but time...and I'm not a patient person.
If I'm angry I can blame someone...lash out at them...be mean to them...in an attempt to make myself feel better. It feels good to be *right* and to prove to someone else that they're *wrong*.
Hurting...well...it hurts...and who in their right mind wants to hurt???? Nothing seems to relieve it but time...and I'm not a patient person.
Friday, October 31, 2008
What a week
Wow...what a week.
Our mortgage company totally bungled our account...and, naturally, being the government entity that it is, no one had a clue what was going on. I think we've gotten it straightened out now...time will tell.
David was finally able to go back to work yesterday after a week long bout with vaccine-related issues. I'll just leave it as that...don't want to stir up too much controversy...not at this point in my week anyway.
And they say things happen in threes...and it seems we've gotten our third *hit*. A week ago I was running a little late with my cycle...and since I had a test that was expiring at the end of the month, I decided to take it. Shockingly it was positive! It was a digital test...so it's not like I could miss the word *pregnant* on it. It took us a couple days to start to adjust...but then I was overwhelmed with the fact that I had said that *if* I were to have another baby, I would want it to be between 18 - 22 months younger than Noelle. Specifically, this was the ideal cycle...making Noelle and Blessing #8 exactly 18 months apart. Of course, I wanted the baby to be a girl, too...so Noelle would have a playmate. Tuesday I started spotting...yesterday it got a little heavier...and this morning my temp is definitely on the way down and the bleeding is heavier still. Now I have a lot of questions...most I'm too embarrassed to type here...cuz most would think I'm out of my mind...lol
All I can say is...I'm glad this week is over...and if I could just sleep until Monday I would be utterly content!
Our mortgage company totally bungled our account...and, naturally, being the government entity that it is, no one had a clue what was going on. I think we've gotten it straightened out now...time will tell.
David was finally able to go back to work yesterday after a week long bout with vaccine-related issues. I'll just leave it as that...don't want to stir up too much controversy...not at this point in my week anyway.
And they say things happen in threes...and it seems we've gotten our third *hit*. A week ago I was running a little late with my cycle...and since I had a test that was expiring at the end of the month, I decided to take it. Shockingly it was positive! It was a digital test...so it's not like I could miss the word *pregnant* on it. It took us a couple days to start to adjust...but then I was overwhelmed with the fact that I had said that *if* I were to have another baby, I would want it to be between 18 - 22 months younger than Noelle. Specifically, this was the ideal cycle...making Noelle and Blessing #8 exactly 18 months apart. Of course, I wanted the baby to be a girl, too...so Noelle would have a playmate. Tuesday I started spotting...yesterday it got a little heavier...and this morning my temp is definitely on the way down and the bleeding is heavier still. Now I have a lot of questions...most I'm too embarrassed to type here...cuz most would think I'm out of my mind...lol
All I can say is...I'm glad this week is over...and if I could just sleep until Monday I would be utterly content!
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
I hate vaccines
I'm really beginning to think that vaccines are just a plot by the government(s) to kill us all! Look at what's in them, for Pete's sake!
A couple of years ago, Chris and I both came down with the mumps. Amazingly, both of us had been vaccinated against them. The funny thing was that Kyle and Joshua were both sleeping in my bed (David was driving OTR at the time)...neither of them had been vaccinated...and neither of them got it! Now David has issues caused by the mumps virus. He was vaccinated...so what the heck! Seems to me that maybe it's the VACCINATION...you know...the live virus lying dormant in our bodies just waiting for something to trigger it into action.
So...David's been out of work since last Wednesday...and we're doing everything we can to get him back on his feet. It's very frustrating...especially since he works on commission....ugh! Thankfully his boss is working with him. I know we'll get through this...health-wise as well as financially...just frustrating to be *here*....just when things seemed to be getting some momentum.
A couple of years ago, Chris and I both came down with the mumps. Amazingly, both of us had been vaccinated against them. The funny thing was that Kyle and Joshua were both sleeping in my bed (David was driving OTR at the time)...neither of them had been vaccinated...and neither of them got it! Now David has issues caused by the mumps virus. He was vaccinated...so what the heck! Seems to me that maybe it's the VACCINATION...you know...the live virus lying dormant in our bodies just waiting for something to trigger it into action.
So...David's been out of work since last Wednesday...and we're doing everything we can to get him back on his feet. It's very frustrating...especially since he works on commission....ugh! Thankfully his boss is working with him. I know we'll get through this...health-wise as well as financially...just frustrating to be *here*....just when things seemed to be getting some momentum.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Yuck
I'm having one of those days where I just want to sit and cry. In all reality, my life isn't all that bad...but I seem to be honing in on all the little negative details that irk me. You know...things like chores not being done...kids sitting on their butts doing nothing...laundry coming out my ears...not to mention the things on a bigger scale like the election and the economy...
So here I sit feeling sorry for myself...and quite content to do so...at least for the moment. Hmmm....wonder if being out of my B Complex has anything to do with it...
So here I sit feeling sorry for myself...and quite content to do so...at least for the moment. Hmmm....wonder if being out of my B Complex has anything to do with it...
Friday, October 3, 2008
Bailout Baloney!
Be prepared that I'm not completely coherent on this...just too stinkin' frustrated!
Who do these people think they're fooling? What makes them think that most Americans changed THEIR minds between the beginning and the end of the week? The price tag went up $150 billion to entice legislators to screw their constituents and they fell for it. How stupid can you be?
This country has become a joke. Constitution....what Constitution? I think Jay Leno said it best...we might as well send it to Iraq for them to use...we're obviously not using it!
The big banks want us totally dependent on credit...so they can yank it out from under us whenever they feel like it...and leave everyone else with nothing. Can you say *communist*???
So...I also hear that it will cost each American taxpayer $10,000 in the end. Of course, the Congress says it won't...but they also think we change our minds like we change our underwear!
I surely wish I could sound intelligent here...but I'm just too frustrated.
When David had his accident a little over a year ago, it really put us in a financial bind. It took us 6 months...and lots of fighting with the insurance company....to get a ridiculous $3000 that was supposed to cover the $25000 we lost in wages and items that went up in flames with the truck. Nobody bailed us out...and that wasn't even our fault! (We did have some wonderful friends who blessed us during that time...and we are VERY grateful for each one.)
So why bail out a bunch of greedy bankers who got their hands caught in the cookie jar? It's really ridiculous.
Someone sent a video in to a list I'm on...and it's very interesting. Here's the link if you're interested. It's almost 2 hours...but very informative.
http://freehovind.com/watch-_1656880303867390173
Who do these people think they're fooling? What makes them think that most Americans changed THEIR minds between the beginning and the end of the week? The price tag went up $150 billion to entice legislators to screw their constituents and they fell for it. How stupid can you be?
This country has become a joke. Constitution....what Constitution? I think Jay Leno said it best...we might as well send it to Iraq for them to use...we're obviously not using it!
The big banks want us totally dependent on credit...so they can yank it out from under us whenever they feel like it...and leave everyone else with nothing. Can you say *communist*???
So...I also hear that it will cost each American taxpayer $10,000 in the end. Of course, the Congress says it won't...but they also think we change our minds like we change our underwear!
I surely wish I could sound intelligent here...but I'm just too frustrated.
When David had his accident a little over a year ago, it really put us in a financial bind. It took us 6 months...and lots of fighting with the insurance company....to get a ridiculous $3000 that was supposed to cover the $25000 we lost in wages and items that went up in flames with the truck. Nobody bailed us out...and that wasn't even our fault! (We did have some wonderful friends who blessed us during that time...and we are VERY grateful for each one.)
So why bail out a bunch of greedy bankers who got their hands caught in the cookie jar? It's really ridiculous.
Someone sent a video in to a list I'm on...and it's very interesting. Here's the link if you're interested. It's almost 2 hours...but very informative.
http://freehovind.com/watch-_1656880303867390173
Friday, September 26, 2008
Our Newest Addition
First, the story...
Just before I found out I was pregnant with Kaelyn, we were in a pet shop in Florida and saw the cutest little Peekapoo. She was 3 1/2 months old...the runt of the litter...and had just been set out for adoption. If I remember correctly, she weighed 1 1/2 pounds at the time. We named her Gizmo because she looked like the title character from the movie when you pushed her ears just a little forward.
Gizzy grew to be a whopping 3-5 pounds, depending on whether or not she was wet...lol She was my baby...and she was extremely good with the kids. During Kaelyn's 7th birthday party, she ran out the door without us noticing and someone picked her up and took her. I have missed Gizzy so much over the years...and have wanted another *itty bitty* like her. We figured we'd just wait until we were done having children and they were a little older....like that will ever happen...he he
Just recently there was an ad on an email list for little rat terrier/chihuaua mix puppies. Mama was only 7 lbs. and Dad was just a little bigger. So we went to look at them. Naturally, I fell for the runt...a little black puppy with white front paws and a little white on her chest. When she's romping through the grass, she closely resembles a little mouse. I'm assuming that's the reason the cat keeps wanting to attack her. Einstein and Anna are amused by such a little thing. Einie is still afraid of her...and may always be, since she's so little. (Something about little puppies terrifies the 60-lb. goofball...go figure!) Anna started playing with her yesterday...which made Noelle totally crack up.
So...drumroll please...introducing Gypsy Rose Lee (did you know she was a stripper in the 30's?!)...
Just before I found out I was pregnant with Kaelyn, we were in a pet shop in Florida and saw the cutest little Peekapoo. She was 3 1/2 months old...the runt of the litter...and had just been set out for adoption. If I remember correctly, she weighed 1 1/2 pounds at the time. We named her Gizmo because she looked like the title character from the movie when you pushed her ears just a little forward.
Gizzy grew to be a whopping 3-5 pounds, depending on whether or not she was wet...lol She was my baby...and she was extremely good with the kids. During Kaelyn's 7th birthday party, she ran out the door without us noticing and someone picked her up and took her. I have missed Gizzy so much over the years...and have wanted another *itty bitty* like her. We figured we'd just wait until we were done having children and they were a little older....like that will ever happen...he he
Just recently there was an ad on an email list for little rat terrier/chihuaua mix puppies. Mama was only 7 lbs. and Dad was just a little bigger. So we went to look at them. Naturally, I fell for the runt...a little black puppy with white front paws and a little white on her chest. When she's romping through the grass, she closely resembles a little mouse. I'm assuming that's the reason the cat keeps wanting to attack her. Einstein and Anna are amused by such a little thing. Einie is still afraid of her...and may always be, since she's so little. (Something about little puppies terrifies the 60-lb. goofball...go figure!) Anna started playing with her yesterday...which made Noelle totally crack up.
So...drumroll please...introducing Gypsy Rose Lee (did you know she was a stripper in the 30's?!)...
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Have you read it?
A friend suggested this book to me...and all I can say is....WOW!!! Except for the tragedy that the main character experienced, I can honestly say I could relate to most of the issues that he did. I read each dialogue between him and God anticipating answers to questions I've sought myself. Even though I couldn't wrap my mind around some of the concepts, I know that seeds have been planted. Much of the book was confirmation of things I've known in my heart, but had no idea how to pursue. Much prayer will follow the reading of this book. Sadly, I know that vulnerability makes one that much easier to be deceived...and I want to be sure that what I am working through, and how I am working through it, is in line with God's true character.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
KISS
Keep It Simple Stupid...
That was an Amway saying from many moons ago. And it's basically what God has been saying to me over the last couple of days.
David started his new job on Friday...selling insurance. We have avoided *commission only* jobs like the plague. After all, we have 9 people in the family...we can't afford not to have a paycheck. And his *commission only* jobs in the past haven't gone all that well.
This time, though, we are on the same page. I can honestly say that we've never been *here* before...not like this...so it's a pleasant change.
So I was asking God the other day to open our eyes to the things in our hearts that have kept us from being financially stable. And He started telling me to just take Him at His Word...to speak His Word over us and our finances. And I kept saying...ok...but what do I have to CHANGE...lol
Once again...I give you the platypus!!!
I imagine God has quite a humorous time the last couple of days....laughing at me looking for the complicated answer of all the things I need to *fix* about myself...and, of course, my husband. And all along it's been...KISS....Keep It Simple Silly. (I can't imagine God would call His creation stupid!)
That was an Amway saying from many moons ago. And it's basically what God has been saying to me over the last couple of days.
David started his new job on Friday...selling insurance. We have avoided *commission only* jobs like the plague. After all, we have 9 people in the family...we can't afford not to have a paycheck. And his *commission only* jobs in the past haven't gone all that well.
This time, though, we are on the same page. I can honestly say that we've never been *here* before...not like this...so it's a pleasant change.
So I was asking God the other day to open our eyes to the things in our hearts that have kept us from being financially stable. And He started telling me to just take Him at His Word...to speak His Word over us and our finances. And I kept saying...ok...but what do I have to CHANGE...lol
Once again...I give you the platypus!!!
I imagine God has quite a humorous time the last couple of days....laughing at me looking for the complicated answer of all the things I need to *fix* about myself...and, of course, my husband. And all along it's been...KISS....Keep It Simple Silly. (I can't imagine God would call His creation stupid!)
Monday, August 4, 2008
The First Day
So...today was our first day *back to school*. I have to admit...I was a little nervous...having 6 schooling this year...and hoping the schedule I worked so hard on would actually FUNCTION.
I'm so happy to say it went VERY well...even better than I expected! It was a day of review...we actually went back a couple of lessons in math...and spent some extra time going over how I would like to see things done. Chandler and Corey are journaling this year...which kinda stumped them a bit...since neither of them are writers....yet.
The littles did very well. Kyle informed me he prefers Chandler teaching him...uh, gee, thanks...lol But I did have an ear out while the older ones were teaching the younger ones...and they all did very well. They were all patient with each other and cooperative...yippee!!!
Noelle...well...she was Noelle. She had a WONDERFUL schedule-ish day on Saturday...and I was SO hoping that would carry over to today...but it didn't. :( She really didn't take a nap this morning...and since Kaelyn wasn't feeling well...I was running back and forth towards the end of the morning.
The older boys finished WAY ahead of schedule...everything was done by lunch...except one assignment Corey missed. But it was quick and easy for him to finish...so no biggie. I even had everything graded by nap time! And Noelle DID take a good nap this afternoon. That gave me enough time to re-vamp Chandler's Biology schedule, which I discovered had the page numbers all messed up. I guess the schedule was just a different edition from the book I have....oh, well!
We also discovered a possible reason for Kaelyn's monthly misery today. (Thanks, Heather and Ben!) Apparently she is VERY allergic to the shampoo we've been using. One of these days I'll remember to test EVERYTHING before I take it off the shelf! So...after taking care of that issue...she felt MUCH better! (Did I say THANK YOU?!)
And the biggest first, I think, is David's new job. He made double today than he was making in a day at Orkin...AND in a LOT less time...and NO STRESS!!! He was IN the house instead of UNDER it...big plus there! ;) Not only that...but by the end of tomorrow he'll be halfway to his weekly goal. And his boss/mentor is working to get him set by Wednesday so that he can take Thursday and Friday off to study for his test. Now THAT is sweet!
Oh...and while we're on the topics of *firsts*...Noelle is OFFICIALLY crawling! She's been scooting on her tushie up til now...but today she actually AIMED for me...and GOT to me on her own! Hopefully I can get some video of that this week...
I'm so happy to say it went VERY well...even better than I expected! It was a day of review...we actually went back a couple of lessons in math...and spent some extra time going over how I would like to see things done. Chandler and Corey are journaling this year...which kinda stumped them a bit...since neither of them are writers....yet.
The littles did very well. Kyle informed me he prefers Chandler teaching him...uh, gee, thanks...lol But I did have an ear out while the older ones were teaching the younger ones...and they all did very well. They were all patient with each other and cooperative...yippee!!!
Noelle...well...she was Noelle. She had a WONDERFUL schedule-ish day on Saturday...and I was SO hoping that would carry over to today...but it didn't. :( She really didn't take a nap this morning...and since Kaelyn wasn't feeling well...I was running back and forth towards the end of the morning.
The older boys finished WAY ahead of schedule...everything was done by lunch...except one assignment Corey missed. But it was quick and easy for him to finish...so no biggie. I even had everything graded by nap time! And Noelle DID take a good nap this afternoon. That gave me enough time to re-vamp Chandler's Biology schedule, which I discovered had the page numbers all messed up. I guess the schedule was just a different edition from the book I have....oh, well!
We also discovered a possible reason for Kaelyn's monthly misery today. (Thanks, Heather and Ben!) Apparently she is VERY allergic to the shampoo we've been using. One of these days I'll remember to test EVERYTHING before I take it off the shelf! So...after taking care of that issue...she felt MUCH better! (Did I say THANK YOU?!)
And the biggest first, I think, is David's new job. He made double today than he was making in a day at Orkin...AND in a LOT less time...and NO STRESS!!! He was IN the house instead of UNDER it...big plus there! ;) Not only that...but by the end of tomorrow he'll be halfway to his weekly goal. And his boss/mentor is working to get him set by Wednesday so that he can take Thursday and Friday off to study for his test. Now THAT is sweet!
Oh...and while we're on the topics of *firsts*...Noelle is OFFICIALLY crawling! She's been scooting on her tushie up til now...but today she actually AIMED for me...and GOT to me on her own! Hopefully I can get some video of that this week...
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Around and Around and Around She Goes
Noelle LOVES her walker! She just LOVES to walk...period! We're thinking she may skip crawling altogether....
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Tea Party
My secret sister sent me a BEAUTIFUL tea set! Starting with my birthday this year, Kaelyn, Noelle, and I will be having a *girls only* tea party for each of our birthdays.
We'll take pictures, and I'll start each of the girls a keepsake album...also sent by my secret sister.
Thank you, Vivian!!! I can't wait to start this precious tradition!!!
7 Days Left
Including today, David has 7 more workdays left with Orkin...woohoo!!! (Six if he doesn't have to work Saturday.)
Wow...can I begin to list all of the emotions we're feeling here???? Peace...for sure. And THAT is SO awesome! Cuz all the other stuff would have us bonkers if we didn't have that deep-down peace.
But there's also some fear...not panic...just, yk, that...*what if* stuff that's obliged to be there...lol
Definitely excitement...
Maybe even a tinge of sadness...as we close this chapter and move on...
He officially starts August 4...coincidentally, the same day we start our new school year.
August 4...a day of new beginnings...
Wow...can I begin to list all of the emotions we're feeling here???? Peace...for sure. And THAT is SO awesome! Cuz all the other stuff would have us bonkers if we didn't have that deep-down peace.
But there's also some fear...not panic...just, yk, that...*what if* stuff that's obliged to be there...lol
Definitely excitement...
Maybe even a tinge of sadness...as we close this chapter and move on...
He officially starts August 4...coincidentally, the same day we start our new school year.
August 4...a day of new beginnings...
Saturday, July 5, 2008
Early Morning Thoughts
The boys come home from camp today. We've missed them...and yet...the house has been quieter...and cleaner! LOL
We're not sure what time they're getting into town, but we're thinking about going to a salvage place to get some ideas for our kitchen. We originally planned on replacing the counter and cabinets. They're painted white with really cheesy white paint...the kind that comes off when you scrub it...ugh! But we started thinking out loud yesterday and decided to reorganize what's in the cabinets. Then we're gonna take the doors off the bottom cabinets and hang curtains on spring-loaded rods in the doorways. For the top shelves, we're gonna just take the doors off and try to find some creative ways to store what's in those cabinets. Also...there's a ton of empty space around the refrigerator with some cabinets on top that just make it look all off-kilter. So we're taking those out and getting a pantry to put next to the refrigerator. We may put a shelf above it...just cuz the ceiling is so high, I think it might need something.
Eventually, our cabinets, walls, and appliances will be bright white...the counter top (which we have to replace cuz the dishwasher keeps falling out) will be black, along with the table, the booths, the chair rail, and the baseboards. (We may do the trim above the cabinets black as well...or we may take it out...not sure what's up there.) We'll have white mini-blinds in the window with red-and-white-checked cafe curtains. We're not sure if they curtains over the cabinets will be the same or just plain red. And the floor and the wall behind the counters will be black and white checkerboard. Oh...and I think we're either doing black and white or red and white checkerboard placemats. They'll be round with pockets for the silverware.
While I'm thinking of the kitchen...the other thing we're gonna try came from a Family Fun magazine. Each person will get 1 plate, 1 bowl, and 1 cup...and they are each responsible for making sure they're stuff is clean for each meal. The idea in the magazine was to get a plastic or glass plate and let each person decorate it and put their name on it. Then, when it's left out or dirty, we know who it belongs to. Joshie and Kyle have both proven this week they can wash something when they need it. Then, whoever is responsible for dishes only has pots and pans and silverware. We'll see how it works!
We're not sure what time they're getting into town, but we're thinking about going to a salvage place to get some ideas for our kitchen. We originally planned on replacing the counter and cabinets. They're painted white with really cheesy white paint...the kind that comes off when you scrub it...ugh! But we started thinking out loud yesterday and decided to reorganize what's in the cabinets. Then we're gonna take the doors off the bottom cabinets and hang curtains on spring-loaded rods in the doorways. For the top shelves, we're gonna just take the doors off and try to find some creative ways to store what's in those cabinets. Also...there's a ton of empty space around the refrigerator with some cabinets on top that just make it look all off-kilter. So we're taking those out and getting a pantry to put next to the refrigerator. We may put a shelf above it...just cuz the ceiling is so high, I think it might need something.
Eventually, our cabinets, walls, and appliances will be bright white...the counter top (which we have to replace cuz the dishwasher keeps falling out) will be black, along with the table, the booths, the chair rail, and the baseboards. (We may do the trim above the cabinets black as well...or we may take it out...not sure what's up there.) We'll have white mini-blinds in the window with red-and-white-checked cafe curtains. We're not sure if they curtains over the cabinets will be the same or just plain red. And the floor and the wall behind the counters will be black and white checkerboard. Oh...and I think we're either doing black and white or red and white checkerboard placemats. They'll be round with pockets for the silverware.
While I'm thinking of the kitchen...the other thing we're gonna try came from a Family Fun magazine. Each person will get 1 plate, 1 bowl, and 1 cup...and they are each responsible for making sure they're stuff is clean for each meal. The idea in the magazine was to get a plastic or glass plate and let each person decorate it and put their name on it. Then, when it's left out or dirty, we know who it belongs to. Joshie and Kyle have both proven this week they can wash something when they need it. Then, whoever is responsible for dishes only has pots and pans and silverware. We'll see how it works!
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Fun Day
Yesterday I had some errands to run and was thinking I could just leave all the littles at home and get a few peaceful moments to myself. HA!!! Kaelyn came up with a better idea...and I'm so glad she did!
We started out with a quick trip to the Post Office. I found a new way into town that goes through the Battlefield...and I love it...so that was a treat for me. I love imagining soldiers walking through the fields...although if it's foggy, it's really creepy. But I digress....
After the PO we went to Gilbert-Stephenson Park. It is AWESOME! And so close! It's got a huge, wonderful playground...complete with baby swings for Noelle. Honestly, though, she wasn't really impressed. It did give her an opportunity to show me that she can reach for me when she's done with something, though...lol It has a walking track around the playground...so I could (if I was thinking) walk while the littles play. They have a bunch of picnic pavilions, too. There's another walking track, but it's not near the playground...it's near the community pool. I think the pool is $3 a person...which isn't bad...unless your family outnumbers the stars in the sky...he he
We spent about 45 minutes at the park...which was just enough for them to enjoy without wearing it out. Then we went to Walmart. Somewhere in there I lost my list...and since it was only 6 items, I said them out loud and let the littles help me remember. They actually had fun with that...I love it when they're so easily entertained. Joshie only asked for something once...and I think it was a dog toy...lol
When we got home there were 2 packages on our porch. One was from my mom...some new outfits for Noelle...woohoo!!!! And the other was from the Mystery of History...Volume 2 for next year! Going through the clothes was easy...Noelle can be entertained by our oohs and aahhhs. She wasn't so excited about the book, though. I, on the other hand, have been reading through it every chance I get!
We were planning on making Mexican Wedding Cookies when we got home...but I forgot to take the butter out before we left...so we had quiet time...which wasn't really quiet...cuz Noelle didn't nap.
So...after nap we started the cookies. They had to chill for a bit, so the boys went out to play, and I got to look at my new book. I wasn't paying attention to the time and had to put the cookies off a little longer to make dinner. We had oven fried chicken and Mexican rice (thanks for the recipes, Wendi and Lisa!). It was VERY yummy. I made a ton of rice so we could have it for leftovers today...and we'll cut up some leftover chicken to put in it, too. Can't wait for lunch...lol
After dinner we baked the cookies...with David's help, since Noelle went right into Mommy-mode. Here's the recipe...http://www.gourmetsleuth.com/mexicanweddingcakes.htm.
They are so YUMMY!!!
We started out with a quick trip to the Post Office. I found a new way into town that goes through the Battlefield...and I love it...so that was a treat for me. I love imagining soldiers walking through the fields...although if it's foggy, it's really creepy. But I digress....
After the PO we went to Gilbert-Stephenson Park. It is AWESOME! And so close! It's got a huge, wonderful playground...complete with baby swings for Noelle. Honestly, though, she wasn't really impressed. It did give her an opportunity to show me that she can reach for me when she's done with something, though...lol It has a walking track around the playground...so I could (if I was thinking) walk while the littles play. They have a bunch of picnic pavilions, too. There's another walking track, but it's not near the playground...it's near the community pool. I think the pool is $3 a person...which isn't bad...unless your family outnumbers the stars in the sky...he he
We spent about 45 minutes at the park...which was just enough for them to enjoy without wearing it out. Then we went to Walmart. Somewhere in there I lost my list...and since it was only 6 items, I said them out loud and let the littles help me remember. They actually had fun with that...I love it when they're so easily entertained. Joshie only asked for something once...and I think it was a dog toy...lol
When we got home there were 2 packages on our porch. One was from my mom...some new outfits for Noelle...woohoo!!!! And the other was from the Mystery of History...Volume 2 for next year! Going through the clothes was easy...Noelle can be entertained by our oohs and aahhhs. She wasn't so excited about the book, though. I, on the other hand, have been reading through it every chance I get!
We were planning on making Mexican Wedding Cookies when we got home...but I forgot to take the butter out before we left...so we had quiet time...which wasn't really quiet...cuz Noelle didn't nap.
So...after nap we started the cookies. They had to chill for a bit, so the boys went out to play, and I got to look at my new book. I wasn't paying attention to the time and had to put the cookies off a little longer to make dinner. We had oven fried chicken and Mexican rice (thanks for the recipes, Wendi and Lisa!). It was VERY yummy. I made a ton of rice so we could have it for leftovers today...and we'll cut up some leftover chicken to put in it, too. Can't wait for lunch...lol
After dinner we baked the cookies...with David's help, since Noelle went right into Mommy-mode. Here's the recipe...http://www.gourmetsleuth.com/mexicanweddingcakes.htm.
They are so YUMMY!!!
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Fun with Mexico
Last week I had this awesome idea to study a country with the littles. Since school has ended they have been driving us all insane out of boredom. We decided to start with Mexico since we're having Tex-Mex Skillet and Enchiladas this week for dinner.
Last night we looked at the pictures in a library book to give us an idea of what life is like in Mexico. Then we made maraccas out of paper plates, beans, and streamers. I'll have to take pictures of them when Chandler gets back with my camera.
Last night we looked at the pictures in a library book to give us an idea of what life is like in Mexico. Then we made maraccas out of paper plates, beans, and streamers. I'll have to take pictures of them when Chandler gets back with my camera.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Bits and Pieces
The older 2 boys are at camp this week. I'm sure it will be a blast for them. We've figured out how to cover their chores and stuff while they're gone. I'm deciding now it will be a good week!
We had our church 4th of July party yesterday. It was great! I got to go on a boat ride by myself...just 30 minutes...but I think that's the first 30 minutes I've had to myself in a long time. We saw some beautiful homes...and a sailboat all the way from Seattle!
I'm writing reviews for some of the curriculum that we used last year...and some I hope to use this year. It's a creative way to get some stuff we wouldn't otherwise be able to get. God has already used this concept to bless us with Bible and History for this coming year. I have some ideas for science if it doesn't work out with that company. I'm still praying for a way to pay for our math books.
I've got 2 "orders" for diapers...and possibly a third. I've made some changes to the pattern I started with. I also got some ideas for wet bags and a clip that holds a receiving blanket up so mama can feed the baby modestly. I also made some burp rags for a friend that just had a baby and she really liked them.
We've started counselling with a personal financial coach, who has written us a plan to be out of debt in 10 years...including the house! At first I was frustrated that it would take us so long...but then our coach commented that, in his experience, the *plan* is the worst-case scenario. More often than not, somewhere along the way the supernatural takes over and it happens much faster. (That sounds so weird...but I don't know how else to express it!)
We had our church 4th of July party yesterday. It was great! I got to go on a boat ride by myself...just 30 minutes...but I think that's the first 30 minutes I've had to myself in a long time. We saw some beautiful homes...and a sailboat all the way from Seattle!
I'm writing reviews for some of the curriculum that we used last year...and some I hope to use this year. It's a creative way to get some stuff we wouldn't otherwise be able to get. God has already used this concept to bless us with Bible and History for this coming year. I have some ideas for science if it doesn't work out with that company. I'm still praying for a way to pay for our math books.
I've got 2 "orders" for diapers...and possibly a third. I've made some changes to the pattern I started with. I also got some ideas for wet bags and a clip that holds a receiving blanket up so mama can feed the baby modestly. I also made some burp rags for a friend that just had a baby and she really liked them.
We've started counselling with a personal financial coach, who has written us a plan to be out of debt in 10 years...including the house! At first I was frustrated that it would take us so long...but then our coach commented that, in his experience, the *plan* is the worst-case scenario. More often than not, somewhere along the way the supernatural takes over and it happens much faster. (That sounds so weird...but I don't know how else to express it!)
Monday, May 12, 2008
Catching Up
Wow...so much going on lately...
So...the trip to Florida was awesome! I KNEW the moment I saw that meeting scheduled in Sarasota that David needed to go...I KNEW it would change our lives...and it has...already! I don't even know where to start to say HOW!
As soon as we were back in Georgia we started hearing about the revival in Lakeland. We were bummed because had we known, we would have taken Kyle while we were there....we weren't far at all!
Then we heard about an outpouring of that revival in Woodstock, GA...so we took Kyle last Thursday. He told me his foot wouldn't be healed there...that was un-nerving...but he was right. David's ears were prayed over as well...and he went to a prayer meeting Saturday morning and felt like he heard everything ok. But I'm not sure either of us were convinced it was DONE.
So then I had a conversation with Damon Sunday morning about prophets and how they are always *different*...and I was wondering...about how *different* I feel....and thinking...could that be why? Or maybe it's just that I'm just weird...lol
With all the talk about the Lakeland revival, Jen sent a link to watch it on the 'net...and so we did last night. Todd Bentley talked about dreams and visions and words of knowledge...and I thought about how Jenny and I used to go back and forth with all of those things...and how we haven't in so long.
He also said something that really touched me. He said that Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever. Yes. Then he said that if all of those healings and stuff happened THEN...and He is IN US today...that they SHOULD still be happening today...cuz HE DOESN'T CHANGE!!! WOW!!!
That went with what David heard at Gary Keesee's conference...that Jesus said we would do all that He did...and more!!!
So...we watched the revival last night...and Kyle couldn't leave the room. He was so tired he was falling asleep...but I believe he felt the anointing as strongly as we did...and I was AMAZED that we were JUST WATCHING IT ON THE 'NET!
At one point Bentley called out healing for the deaf...and God moved me to lay hands on David's ears again. So I prayed...and he said he felt warmth INSIDE his ears...even AFTER I took my hands away. And then he called me this morning and told me that he KNEW it was done....cuz he heard the guy at work that ALWAYS MUMBLES...and he heard him CLEARLY!!! WOOHOO!!!
OK...and so the dream thing. A few weeks ago I had a dream that was so real it woke me up. It was very intense. God told me a flood was coming...and that many people would die if I didn't warn them. I woke up in a sense of panic...a sense of urgency...but I brushed it off as a dream, thinking that God said in the Bible He would never again destroy the earth with a flood.
Then I talked to Jenny this morning...and when I told her the dream...she said she was reminded of a vision she had had a while ago...and it was one she had told me about...and I had thought of the same vision shortly after that dream...but didn't put it together.
Anyway...the *flood* is a spiritual flood...and people will die spiritually if they don't realize that God is holding them up as the water swirls around them. I'm not sure I get that quite yet...
But it also reminds me of a vision I had where I had gone over a waterfall...and I was afraid at first...but then I realized I was floating...and resting...
So...putting it all together some more...
I was thinking about the anointing and trying to figure out how what Bentley was saying fit in with other things I've learned over the past couple of years from Jim...and even Gary. And the anointing *works* in healing...because you RECEIVE the healing at that point! It's not that you're WAITING for God to WORK...but that you ACCEPT that He DID IT ALL when you receive the anointing!
So now...how do you walk in the anointing daily? Jenny got that word. It's by meditating on the Word. And that can seem overwhelming to a mom with many. But it's not about constantly sitting at the table taking in the Word...but rather meditating and digesting the Word throughout the day!
So...the trip to Florida was awesome! I KNEW the moment I saw that meeting scheduled in Sarasota that David needed to go...I KNEW it would change our lives...and it has...already! I don't even know where to start to say HOW!
As soon as we were back in Georgia we started hearing about the revival in Lakeland. We were bummed because had we known, we would have taken Kyle while we were there....we weren't far at all!
Then we heard about an outpouring of that revival in Woodstock, GA...so we took Kyle last Thursday. He told me his foot wouldn't be healed there...that was un-nerving...but he was right. David's ears were prayed over as well...and he went to a prayer meeting Saturday morning and felt like he heard everything ok. But I'm not sure either of us were convinced it was DONE.
So then I had a conversation with Damon Sunday morning about prophets and how they are always *different*...and I was wondering...about how *different* I feel....and thinking...could that be why? Or maybe it's just that I'm just weird...lol
With all the talk about the Lakeland revival, Jen sent a link to watch it on the 'net...and so we did last night. Todd Bentley talked about dreams and visions and words of knowledge...and I thought about how Jenny and I used to go back and forth with all of those things...and how we haven't in so long.
He also said something that really touched me. He said that Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever. Yes. Then he said that if all of those healings and stuff happened THEN...and He is IN US today...that they SHOULD still be happening today...cuz HE DOESN'T CHANGE!!! WOW!!!
That went with what David heard at Gary Keesee's conference...that Jesus said we would do all that He did...and more!!!
So...we watched the revival last night...and Kyle couldn't leave the room. He was so tired he was falling asleep...but I believe he felt the anointing as strongly as we did...and I was AMAZED that we were JUST WATCHING IT ON THE 'NET!
At one point Bentley called out healing for the deaf...and God moved me to lay hands on David's ears again. So I prayed...and he said he felt warmth INSIDE his ears...even AFTER I took my hands away. And then he called me this morning and told me that he KNEW it was done....cuz he heard the guy at work that ALWAYS MUMBLES...and he heard him CLEARLY!!! WOOHOO!!!
OK...and so the dream thing. A few weeks ago I had a dream that was so real it woke me up. It was very intense. God told me a flood was coming...and that many people would die if I didn't warn them. I woke up in a sense of panic...a sense of urgency...but I brushed it off as a dream, thinking that God said in the Bible He would never again destroy the earth with a flood.
Then I talked to Jenny this morning...and when I told her the dream...she said she was reminded of a vision she had had a while ago...and it was one she had told me about...and I had thought of the same vision shortly after that dream...but didn't put it together.
Anyway...the *flood* is a spiritual flood...and people will die spiritually if they don't realize that God is holding them up as the water swirls around them. I'm not sure I get that quite yet...
But it also reminds me of a vision I had where I had gone over a waterfall...and I was afraid at first...but then I realized I was floating...and resting...
So...putting it all together some more...
I was thinking about the anointing and trying to figure out how what Bentley was saying fit in with other things I've learned over the past couple of years from Jim...and even Gary. And the anointing *works* in healing...because you RECEIVE the healing at that point! It's not that you're WAITING for God to WORK...but that you ACCEPT that He DID IT ALL when you receive the anointing!
So now...how do you walk in the anointing daily? Jenny got that word. It's by meditating on the Word. And that can seem overwhelming to a mom with many. But it's not about constantly sitting at the table taking in the Word...but rather meditating and digesting the Word throughout the day!
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Chandler's Solo
Chandler picked out the bass...recorded it with his mp3 player...played it on his stereo...and played the solo on top of it...
This kid rocks!!!
:)
This kid rocks!!!
:)
I've been tagged by Amber!
Ten silly things you may not know about me...
1) My socks have to be perfectly straight before I can put my shoes on...and I will stop no matter where I am to take my shoes off and straighten them if they get twisted.
2) I'm compulsive about keeping my desk clean...no matter what the rest of the house looks like.
3) I always wanted to sing with a rock band.
4) Even though my kids tell me I'm a goof ball all the time, I'm having a hard time thinking of ten silly things!
5) When I can't remember the name of the child whose attention I'm trying to get, I call them by their birth order number.
6) I get my kids' names mixed up...but I can tell you exactly where the poultry seasoning is in my kitchen....which cabinet, which shelf, which side, and what it's next to.
7) I love to make up words to sing with popular tunes to my babies.
8) I will write a book someday called *And I Give You - The Platypus*...because I'm convinced that God finds watching me more humorous than that silly-looking creature.
9) My daughter picks out my clothes for me...cuz everyone KNOWS a 40-year-old can't dress herself!
10) That's funny in itself...*I* am 40!!!!
Let's see...Jenny doesn't have a blog...so maybe I'll talk her into starting one just so I can tag her...he he
So...I'll tag Kaelyn, Mom, Michelle, Kris...and I'll have to get back to you on the last one!
1) My socks have to be perfectly straight before I can put my shoes on...and I will stop no matter where I am to take my shoes off and straighten them if they get twisted.
2) I'm compulsive about keeping my desk clean...no matter what the rest of the house looks like.
3) I always wanted to sing with a rock band.
4) Even though my kids tell me I'm a goof ball all the time, I'm having a hard time thinking of ten silly things!
5) When I can't remember the name of the child whose attention I'm trying to get, I call them by their birth order number.
6) I get my kids' names mixed up...but I can tell you exactly where the poultry seasoning is in my kitchen....which cabinet, which shelf, which side, and what it's next to.
7) I love to make up words to sing with popular tunes to my babies.
8) I will write a book someday called *And I Give You - The Platypus*...because I'm convinced that God finds watching me more humorous than that silly-looking creature.
9) My daughter picks out my clothes for me...cuz everyone KNOWS a 40-year-old can't dress herself!
10) That's funny in itself...*I* am 40!!!!
Let's see...Jenny doesn't have a blog...so maybe I'll talk her into starting one just so I can tag her...he he
So...I'll tag Kaelyn, Mom, Michelle, Kris...and I'll have to get back to you on the last one!
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
So busy
I have to laugh at the name of my blog...Daily Life...HA...like I'm here daily!!!
Anyway...lots going on here....
Mom-mom's in the hospital...broke her hip yesterday...having surgery today...will be in rehab for a while after...not sure how that will affect their move down here...
Daddy's going back to the hospital this morning for more abx for the dog bite...may or may not be admitted...depending on if/how much it's improved...
David's OT has been cut out completely. Orkin can't seem to figure out to run this branch...what a mess! Waiting to see what God has next there...
Got our tax return back...but with no more OT it's more or less gone...ugh!!!
Noelle's got her first *cold*...of sorts, anyway. She seems to wake up around 5 or 6 a little congested...but once she's upright...and the rest of the day she's fine. She was cranky yesterday...but I have AWESOME helpers! (Thank you David, Kaelyn, Chandler, Corey, Chris, Kyle, and Josh!)
Good stuff...
Gary Keesee's message is AWESOME! It's wonderful to have hope again! And to hear confirmation of things we've thought!
Fast from Wrong Thinking...well...that's been a life-saver. Had a rough day the other day...but had lots to focus on...didn't have to *search* my mind in a panic to find the truth...it was RIGHT THERE!
Seems like just a couple things...but they're HUGE things!
Anyway...lots going on here....
Mom-mom's in the hospital...broke her hip yesterday...having surgery today...will be in rehab for a while after...not sure how that will affect their move down here...
Daddy's going back to the hospital this morning for more abx for the dog bite...may or may not be admitted...depending on if/how much it's improved...
David's OT has been cut out completely. Orkin can't seem to figure out to run this branch...what a mess! Waiting to see what God has next there...
Got our tax return back...but with no more OT it's more or less gone...ugh!!!
Noelle's got her first *cold*...of sorts, anyway. She seems to wake up around 5 or 6 a little congested...but once she's upright...and the rest of the day she's fine. She was cranky yesterday...but I have AWESOME helpers! (Thank you David, Kaelyn, Chandler, Corey, Chris, Kyle, and Josh!)
Good stuff...
Gary Keesee's message is AWESOME! It's wonderful to have hope again! And to hear confirmation of things we've thought!
Fast from Wrong Thinking...well...that's been a life-saver. Had a rough day the other day...but had lots to focus on...didn't have to *search* my mind in a panic to find the truth...it was RIGHT THERE!
Seems like just a couple things...but they're HUGE things!
Thursday, February 28, 2008
ABC's
Kaelyn was teaching Joshie his ABC's yesterday. He was singing the alphabet as she was writing it on the dry erase board. Here's how the conversation went...
Kaelyn: Go ahead Joshie.
Joshie: (singing) A B C D A F G
Kaelyn: (interrupting) *E* F G
Joshie: giggles...then...H R S
Kaelyn: *H* *I* *J*
Joshie: giggles...then... Ello Mello P
Kaelyn: (stomping her feet and laughing) *L* *M* *N* *O* *P*
Joshie: giggles
Kaelyn: What comes after P?
Joshie: (jumping up to stand up on the desk) Jingle bells, Jingle bells, Jingle all the way
Needless to say, everyone within earshot lost it at that point. Oh, how I wish I had security cameras in this house! That's the only way I could ever catch these gems!!! That would DEFINITELY have won us some money!!!
Kaelyn: Go ahead Joshie.
Joshie: (singing) A B C D A F G
Kaelyn: (interrupting) *E* F G
Joshie: giggles...then...H R S
Kaelyn: *H* *I* *J*
Joshie: giggles...then... Ello Mello P
Kaelyn: (stomping her feet and laughing) *L* *M* *N* *O* *P*
Joshie: giggles
Kaelyn: What comes after P?
Joshie: (jumping up to stand up on the desk) Jingle bells, Jingle bells, Jingle all the way
Needless to say, everyone within earshot lost it at that point. Oh, how I wish I had security cameras in this house! That's the only way I could ever catch these gems!!! That would DEFINITELY have won us some money!!!
Monday, February 18, 2008
Another Monday
Well...we seem to have a pattern with Noelle on Mondays...she only catnaps! Needless to say, with all the regular stuff to do in a day...plus extra laundry...it's been a very challenging day. I'm so grateful I have older children to help me with her...cuz I think I'd truly be insane today otherwise!
Jenny told me about Pastor Tim's message yesterday...so I took a few minutes and listened. Really made me miss Ocala...although I don't know that I'd want to be part of such a large church again...too easy to get lost in the crowd! I LOVE the relationships that are developing at Hamilton Life!
Anyway...the main idea of the message is that spiritual health in my home starts with me. That can be overwhelming at times...when it seems like I'm the only one heading in that direction...but he also said that *my* spiritual growth will influence the others in my family to grow...and THAT is encouraging!
He said that spiritual growth is intentional...and that's so true...cuz life gets in the way all too easily. It's something that requires my full attention...cuz if I'm not giving my attention to growing, then it's more than likely on something that will NOT be healthy (like worrying about the stupid tax return!).
I also had something of a breakthrough about the panic attacks. It seems that they started because of something that happened when *I* was vulnerable. That makes sense...but I've been in that *vulnerable* place 4 times since then...and it hasn't happened every time. But I also realized that I'm probably limiting God from delivering me from it by trying so hard to understand the *why* behind it. Then again...if they'd just quit...then I wouldn't have that need to understand them in the first place! Anyway...I'm working on being grateful for deliverance...whether it happens this minute or not.
Claudie sent me a site for a 40 day fast from wrong thinking. I checked out the first day, and I'm very excited to work through it. My thinking has been horrible since I started grappling with the taxes...and I hate the feeling that I'm going backwards in the way I see my life.
Speaking of taxes, a friend is checking into some questions we have about our tax return. The whole thing is just a mess to me...and losing all the paperwork in the accident surely didn't help. If we EVER own our own business again, it will be a business that makes enough money to hire an accountant!!!
Jenny told me about Pastor Tim's message yesterday...so I took a few minutes and listened. Really made me miss Ocala...although I don't know that I'd want to be part of such a large church again...too easy to get lost in the crowd! I LOVE the relationships that are developing at Hamilton Life!
Anyway...the main idea of the message is that spiritual health in my home starts with me. That can be overwhelming at times...when it seems like I'm the only one heading in that direction...but he also said that *my* spiritual growth will influence the others in my family to grow...and THAT is encouraging!
He said that spiritual growth is intentional...and that's so true...cuz life gets in the way all too easily. It's something that requires my full attention...cuz if I'm not giving my attention to growing, then it's more than likely on something that will NOT be healthy (like worrying about the stupid tax return!).
I also had something of a breakthrough about the panic attacks. It seems that they started because of something that happened when *I* was vulnerable. That makes sense...but I've been in that *vulnerable* place 4 times since then...and it hasn't happened every time. But I also realized that I'm probably limiting God from delivering me from it by trying so hard to understand the *why* behind it. Then again...if they'd just quit...then I wouldn't have that need to understand them in the first place! Anyway...I'm working on being grateful for deliverance...whether it happens this minute or not.
Claudie sent me a site for a 40 day fast from wrong thinking. I checked out the first day, and I'm very excited to work through it. My thinking has been horrible since I started grappling with the taxes...and I hate the feeling that I'm going backwards in the way I see my life.
Speaking of taxes, a friend is checking into some questions we have about our tax return. The whole thing is just a mess to me...and losing all the paperwork in the accident surely didn't help. If we EVER own our own business again, it will be a business that makes enough money to hire an accountant!!!
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Believe the Positive
As usual, I'm working on several projects at once...nothing like multi-tasking. I'm reading 3 books...Goodbye Chaos, Hello Peace; Something More; and Taking the Limits Off God. The first one is helping me get my house in order, the second is helping me get *me* in order, and the third is helping me get my relationship with God in order.
Goodbye Chaos is going fairly well. I've decided I want a treadmill that I can stick under the bed when it's not in use, since we don't have anywhere to leave it up. I thought I could do my reading while I walk. Since I'm reading 3 books at once, the extra baby weight should be gone in no time...once I get the treadmill, that is. I'm working on my laundry system this week...which is already working well...just needing to be tweaked a little here and there. The biggest thing that could help would be to get the garage cleaned up so I can use the shelf for the laundry baskets like I was doing for a while. Right now the laundry piles up in my room, and I have to resort the whole pile every day...rather than just adding it to the laundry baskets in the garage.
Something More is going well, too. It's given me a lot to think about...since I LOVE introspection so much! I'm really struggling to see myself past the facade of being who I thought everyone WANTED me to be all these years. I'm glad to know I'm not alone in that!
I just started the Limits book this week...after a friend reminded me about it. It was definitely God's timing...cuz I was really getting down about a lot of things...and I needed a boost. In the first chapter, I was reminded that God CAN and WILL take care of me...and got back to a place of peace about some major issues.
The last couple of days I've been pondering something mentioned in chapter 4. Jim is talking about our self-esteem...and how it's so high when we're little...like when we're learning to walk...because we're not punished or made fun of when we fall...rather, we're loved and cuddled and accepted. But then as we get older, *life* isn't so kind when we fail.
"As adults, most of us derive our self-esteem, not from the love and acceptance of our heavenly Father, but from our ability to succeed at certain tasks. We feel good about ourselves based on our accomplishments, rather than on whom we are in Jesus."
The answer:
"Like the toddler learning to walk, his self-worth is derived from the loving relationship he has with his Father through the Lord Jesus, and not from his achievements (works)."
How? By renewing our minds...and re-writing our hearts....so that we become convinced of the TRUTH...that we ARE loved and accepted by God....period.
Sounds so easy...but after 40 years of negatives...it can be exhausting (to say the least) trying to renew my mind...as the negatives present themselves over and over and over again.
How do I convince myself of God's love? What does *love* look like to me? And is what it *looks* like the important thing?
I KNOW that God met me...almost exactly a year ago now...right where I was...completely ugly...with no interest in hearing from God...angry...bitter...frustrated...but He showed up...and He DID something to show me that He loves me. Yet...even with that experience...I STILL struggle in the face of negatives to remember that God loves me.
So what I understand, then, is that it's a choice...every day...to BELIEVE that God loves me...no matter what *things* look like...not matter how I feel...no matter what's going on.
Situations and circumstances can take away a feeling...with or without my permission...but they can't take away a choice...only *I* can give that up. So I have to DECIDE not to give up my right to choose...and I have to CHOOSE to believe that God DOES love me...and all that His love means.
Goodbye Chaos is going fairly well. I've decided I want a treadmill that I can stick under the bed when it's not in use, since we don't have anywhere to leave it up. I thought I could do my reading while I walk. Since I'm reading 3 books at once, the extra baby weight should be gone in no time...once I get the treadmill, that is. I'm working on my laundry system this week...which is already working well...just needing to be tweaked a little here and there. The biggest thing that could help would be to get the garage cleaned up so I can use the shelf for the laundry baskets like I was doing for a while. Right now the laundry piles up in my room, and I have to resort the whole pile every day...rather than just adding it to the laundry baskets in the garage.
Something More is going well, too. It's given me a lot to think about...since I LOVE introspection so much! I'm really struggling to see myself past the facade of being who I thought everyone WANTED me to be all these years. I'm glad to know I'm not alone in that!
I just started the Limits book this week...after a friend reminded me about it. It was definitely God's timing...cuz I was really getting down about a lot of things...and I needed a boost. In the first chapter, I was reminded that God CAN and WILL take care of me...and got back to a place of peace about some major issues.
The last couple of days I've been pondering something mentioned in chapter 4. Jim is talking about our self-esteem...and how it's so high when we're little...like when we're learning to walk...because we're not punished or made fun of when we fall...rather, we're loved and cuddled and accepted. But then as we get older, *life* isn't so kind when we fail.
"As adults, most of us derive our self-esteem, not from the love and acceptance of our heavenly Father, but from our ability to succeed at certain tasks. We feel good about ourselves based on our accomplishments, rather than on whom we are in Jesus."
The answer:
"Like the toddler learning to walk, his self-worth is derived from the loving relationship he has with his Father through the Lord Jesus, and not from his achievements (works)."
How? By renewing our minds...and re-writing our hearts....so that we become convinced of the TRUTH...that we ARE loved and accepted by God....period.
Sounds so easy...but after 40 years of negatives...it can be exhausting (to say the least) trying to renew my mind...as the negatives present themselves over and over and over again.
How do I convince myself of God's love? What does *love* look like to me? And is what it *looks* like the important thing?
I KNOW that God met me...almost exactly a year ago now...right where I was...completely ugly...with no interest in hearing from God...angry...bitter...frustrated...but He showed up...and He DID something to show me that He loves me. Yet...even with that experience...I STILL struggle in the face of negatives to remember that God loves me.
So what I understand, then, is that it's a choice...every day...to BELIEVE that God loves me...no matter what *things* look like...not matter how I feel...no matter what's going on.
Situations and circumstances can take away a feeling...with or without my permission...but they can't take away a choice...only *I* can give that up. So I have to DECIDE not to give up my right to choose...and I have to CHOOSE to believe that God DOES love me...and all that His love means.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Smiles
I'm reading a book I got at Noelle's baby celebration...Something More - Excavating your Authentic Self. There has been something that has touched me deeply in most of the sections I've read.
The first one is the concept of looking for the gift within my fear and benefiting from it. At first glance, I related this to the panic and anxiety issues. But now I think it goes much deeper than that.
The next is the realization that I'm grateful just to be alive and able to work through issues.
Today's gem is the invitation at the end of the section to think about something small but special about my life today and savor it.
That small something is a smile. I have sat and purposely remembered each of my children smiling at me today. I've been praying each day that I could be what they need me to be. I'm adding another prayer...that I would remember to look my husband and each of my children in the eye and smile at them every day.
What's so special about a smile? It's something I thought with Noelle as I waited (im)patiently for her first *real* smile...the one that was just for me. I thought I would know for sure at that moment that she loved me. I guess that may sound silly to some...but as I remember that moment, I remember I've felt like that with each of my children. That first smile was the time I knew that THEY knew that *I* was *Mommy*....and they were happy to see me. I want each member of my family to experience that every day.
The first one is the concept of looking for the gift within my fear and benefiting from it. At first glance, I related this to the panic and anxiety issues. But now I think it goes much deeper than that.
The next is the realization that I'm grateful just to be alive and able to work through issues.
Today's gem is the invitation at the end of the section to think about something small but special about my life today and savor it.
That small something is a smile. I have sat and purposely remembered each of my children smiling at me today. I've been praying each day that I could be what they need me to be. I'm adding another prayer...that I would remember to look my husband and each of my children in the eye and smile at them every day.
What's so special about a smile? It's something I thought with Noelle as I waited (im)patiently for her first *real* smile...the one that was just for me. I thought I would know for sure at that moment that she loved me. I guess that may sound silly to some...but as I remember that moment, I remember I've felt like that with each of my children. That first smile was the time I knew that THEY knew that *I* was *Mommy*....and they were happy to see me. I want each member of my family to experience that every day.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Just Writing
Some people were born to write and know it. Not me. I guess that's why I have such a hard time remembering to blog. Actually, it's not so much that I forget to blog...as much as I don't know what to write. Some things seem too trivial to take the time to post...and others too personal.
That being said, I've felt for a while now that I would write a book some day. I like the *some day* part, because I can procrastinate without feeling guilty. But these days I can't help but feel that the *some day* is getting MUCH closer. I still don't know what specifically to write...so I figured my blog is a good place to start. Hopefully I'll keep up with it...and I'm sure I'll see some kind of pattern....or at least a clue to a pattern....around which to write a book.
Jenny will be a big part of my book. (Hi, Jenn!!!) So much of my spiritual journey has been spent with Jenny by my side....sometimes ahead of me, cheering me on...sometimes behind me while I cheer her on. Writing *Jenny* will be much easier than writing *a friend*. Sorry, Jenn... you won't be anonymous! ;)
The latest question we're chewing on....well...I guess it's not really a question...it's a conundrum. (Don't know if I spelled that right, but I figured I should practice using some impressive words for my book...lol) Anyway...here we both sit...in financial...frustration...wondering, aside from the obvious *physical* things...how did we get here spiritually?
My first thought is to go back to our situation in Huntsville. We moved there for Impact...to sit under Jim's teaching...and we learned SO MUCH!!! It made sense...well, most of it...and it brought us freedom...or so it was supposed to. But while we were there we were miserable on most fronts. Our financial situation was worse than it had been in a long time...we really didn't have any friends we *connected* with...our neighbors were awful (and so were our landlords). Yet at the same time, we were growing spiritually....although we didn't see how much we actually did grow until later.
I don't necessarily feel we're in that same place, although our finances seemed to have taken a nose-dive with the holidays. I guess the thing that makes the difference for me is that I see our situation as a result of David's accident more than anything else. (That's not to say that we haven't made mistakes and/or bad choices, though.) It's not that I feel like I need to *blame* something...as much as determine *where* things started going haywire.
For example...we have not made a late payment on anything since the accident. God has provided for us month after month, time after time, in many different ways. This month, though, I may have to wait until the paycheck on the 10th to make our mortgage payment. According to the mortgage company, it's not late until the 16th...so we're ok there. But in MY mind it's due on the 1st...period. (There's that left brain for ya!) What have I *done* differently...*believed* differently...*thought* differently? I don't know. Is it even something that *I* have done (or not done)...
Aside from my left-brained irritation...I STILL have peace. I still know that I'm NOT going *under* financially...that my bills WILL be paid...on time....I'm STILL determined there.
So what's the deal? What do I *do*...if anything?
My thought, at this point, is to stay where I am...do what I've been doing...which is trust God...believe what He has said about me and my situation. I think Jim calls it a *paradox*...when what you HAVE to do seems to be the exact opposite of what it seems you SHOULD do.
I really believe that if I stand strong in my belief and determination...as I have been doing...to the best of my ability...that everything will work out to my best interest. God WILL take care of the situation (He has already made provision). Somehow what's on the inside will work its way to the outside and all will be well once again. End of this crisis.
So...here I sit...going back again to my peace...to what I know is the truth.
Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever...He never changes. He has provided for my family consistently in the past, and He will continue to do so.
God's thoughts for me are of peace and not evil, to give me a future and a hope.
He has promised never to leave me or forsake me.
He has promised to hear me when I cry out to Him and to answer my prayers.
That being said, I've felt for a while now that I would write a book some day. I like the *some day* part, because I can procrastinate without feeling guilty. But these days I can't help but feel that the *some day* is getting MUCH closer. I still don't know what specifically to write...so I figured my blog is a good place to start. Hopefully I'll keep up with it...and I'm sure I'll see some kind of pattern....or at least a clue to a pattern....around which to write a book.
Jenny will be a big part of my book. (Hi, Jenn!!!) So much of my spiritual journey has been spent with Jenny by my side....sometimes ahead of me, cheering me on...sometimes behind me while I cheer her on. Writing *Jenny* will be much easier than writing *a friend*. Sorry, Jenn... you won't be anonymous! ;)
The latest question we're chewing on....well...I guess it's not really a question...it's a conundrum. (Don't know if I spelled that right, but I figured I should practice using some impressive words for my book...lol) Anyway...here we both sit...in financial...frustration...wondering, aside from the obvious *physical* things...how did we get here spiritually?
My first thought is to go back to our situation in Huntsville. We moved there for Impact...to sit under Jim's teaching...and we learned SO MUCH!!! It made sense...well, most of it...and it brought us freedom...or so it was supposed to. But while we were there we were miserable on most fronts. Our financial situation was worse than it had been in a long time...we really didn't have any friends we *connected* with...our neighbors were awful (and so were our landlords). Yet at the same time, we were growing spiritually....although we didn't see how much we actually did grow until later.
I don't necessarily feel we're in that same place, although our finances seemed to have taken a nose-dive with the holidays. I guess the thing that makes the difference for me is that I see our situation as a result of David's accident more than anything else. (That's not to say that we haven't made mistakes and/or bad choices, though.) It's not that I feel like I need to *blame* something...as much as determine *where* things started going haywire.
For example...we have not made a late payment on anything since the accident. God has provided for us month after month, time after time, in many different ways. This month, though, I may have to wait until the paycheck on the 10th to make our mortgage payment. According to the mortgage company, it's not late until the 16th...so we're ok there. But in MY mind it's due on the 1st...period. (There's that left brain for ya!) What have I *done* differently...*believed* differently...*thought* differently? I don't know. Is it even something that *I* have done (or not done)...
Aside from my left-brained irritation...I STILL have peace. I still know that I'm NOT going *under* financially...that my bills WILL be paid...on time....I'm STILL determined there.
So what's the deal? What do I *do*...if anything?
My thought, at this point, is to stay where I am...do what I've been doing...which is trust God...believe what He has said about me and my situation. I think Jim calls it a *paradox*...when what you HAVE to do seems to be the exact opposite of what it seems you SHOULD do.
I really believe that if I stand strong in my belief and determination...as I have been doing...to the best of my ability...that everything will work out to my best interest. God WILL take care of the situation (He has already made provision). Somehow what's on the inside will work its way to the outside and all will be well once again. End of this crisis.
So...here I sit...going back again to my peace...to what I know is the truth.
Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever...He never changes. He has provided for my family consistently in the past, and He will continue to do so.
God's thoughts for me are of peace and not evil, to give me a future and a hope.
He has promised never to leave me or forsake me.
He has promised to hear me when I cry out to Him and to answer my prayers.
Monday, January 21, 2008
Moving along...
The Goodbye Chaos study is moving along nicely...
Lesson 1 was about taking a daily *vacation*. There have been a couple of times where I haven't been able to take a vacation...and a couple of times when I've littered it with thinking about frustrations and/or responsibilities...but other than that it's been nice to have just those 15 minutes to myself!
Lesson 2 was a self evaluation. I enjoyed getting stuff that's been in my brain down on paper. The hardest part was dreaming...thinking about what I've wanted to do and my talents. David's always been the one to do the dreaming...and I haven't bothered...cuz if I can't have it now...why waste my time. I realize that's not the CORRECT way to think. And after Jim's teachings that what we have in our hearts comes to pass...I understand WHY. It's still a challenge to dream and picture things the way I WANT them to be...but I'm moving forward there.
Lesson 3 dealt with the kitchen...how I think and feel about it and why. It was very...revealing... in a good way. It kind of goes along with the current lesson, which I'll get to later. I've taken everything off of the counters and split the kitchen chores up between 4 of us...so it's looking much better these days.
Lesson 4 was about thinking ahead and planning the next day. That one was a breeze...cuz I LOVE to plan. It's the *getting it done* that I'm not as good at...lol But having a list to cross things off of sure helps!
Lesson 5 was about going to bed at a decent time and getting up early. These days that's mostly dictated by Noelle...so there wasn't really much to do on this point.
Lesson 6 was about my Quiet Time. This has always been a challenge for me...cuz even when I DO have it...it's not really been consistent. These days my Quiet Time consists of my readings from the chart from the GCHP group and a short prayer time. I've started a list of prayer requests...and my Secret Sister sent me a journal which I'll be using for my prayer journal. All I have to do is remember to write things down! LOL
Today's Lesson is about my *priority place*....that's the place that *I* would *judge* in someone else's house to determine what kind of a housekeeper they are. For me...it's the kitchen. The bathrooms are a close second...but really the kitchen is the one room in the house that, if it's clean, I feel *uncluttered*.
Lesson 1 was about taking a daily *vacation*. There have been a couple of times where I haven't been able to take a vacation...and a couple of times when I've littered it with thinking about frustrations and/or responsibilities...but other than that it's been nice to have just those 15 minutes to myself!
Lesson 2 was a self evaluation. I enjoyed getting stuff that's been in my brain down on paper. The hardest part was dreaming...thinking about what I've wanted to do and my talents. David's always been the one to do the dreaming...and I haven't bothered...cuz if I can't have it now...why waste my time. I realize that's not the CORRECT way to think. And after Jim's teachings that what we have in our hearts comes to pass...I understand WHY. It's still a challenge to dream and picture things the way I WANT them to be...but I'm moving forward there.
Lesson 3 dealt with the kitchen...how I think and feel about it and why. It was very...revealing... in a good way. It kind of goes along with the current lesson, which I'll get to later. I've taken everything off of the counters and split the kitchen chores up between 4 of us...so it's looking much better these days.
Lesson 4 was about thinking ahead and planning the next day. That one was a breeze...cuz I LOVE to plan. It's the *getting it done* that I'm not as good at...lol But having a list to cross things off of sure helps!
Lesson 5 was about going to bed at a decent time and getting up early. These days that's mostly dictated by Noelle...so there wasn't really much to do on this point.
Lesson 6 was about my Quiet Time. This has always been a challenge for me...cuz even when I DO have it...it's not really been consistent. These days my Quiet Time consists of my readings from the chart from the GCHP group and a short prayer time. I've started a list of prayer requests...and my Secret Sister sent me a journal which I'll be using for my prayer journal. All I have to do is remember to write things down! LOL
Today's Lesson is about my *priority place*....that's the place that *I* would *judge* in someone else's house to determine what kind of a housekeeper they are. For me...it's the kitchen. The bathrooms are a close second...but really the kitchen is the one room in the house that, if it's clean, I feel *uncluttered*.
Thursday, January 3, 2008
Changes
A friend referred me to a website by Cynthia Hancox...who is writing a series of books for Moms called Goodbye Chaos, Hello Peace! In the introduction, Cynthia writes,
"...we may be willing and determined to change, but we are still weak human beings, and ultimately we fall far short of all that we were designed to be."
There's so much there! Where do I start????
I AM willing and VERY determined for things in and about my life to change. I see things changing. And I see the difference in ME that *I* am deciding NOT to go back to certain places. And yet, in those decisions, there is a great deal of pressure I feel to KEEP that determination strong. There is a fear of failing...of letting my guard down in a weak moment that will undermine all I have *worked* for. But at the same time, I know that "I" am not responsible for anything more than agreeing with God about my situation. So I'm thinking this "pressure" that I'm feeling is a result of a deeper change that needs to occur. I'm not sure what that looks like at this point. I know, though, that recognizing this need is a good, positive step forward.
At Word of Faith we repeated something after Pastor Time every service. The line I'm thinking of states that "I will never be the same". I always repeated, always meant it...and I suppose to some degree it was happening. But never to the degree that it's happening now. There IS something different inside of me. But it still seems somewhat forced...like there is something inside still resisting...or maybe just afraid to accept that it COULD happen for me!
"...we may be willing and determined to change, but we are still weak human beings, and ultimately we fall far short of all that we were designed to be."
There's so much there! Where do I start????
I AM willing and VERY determined for things in and about my life to change. I see things changing. And I see the difference in ME that *I* am deciding NOT to go back to certain places. And yet, in those decisions, there is a great deal of pressure I feel to KEEP that determination strong. There is a fear of failing...of letting my guard down in a weak moment that will undermine all I have *worked* for. But at the same time, I know that "I" am not responsible for anything more than agreeing with God about my situation. So I'm thinking this "pressure" that I'm feeling is a result of a deeper change that needs to occur. I'm not sure what that looks like at this point. I know, though, that recognizing this need is a good, positive step forward.
At Word of Faith we repeated something after Pastor Time every service. The line I'm thinking of states that "I will never be the same". I always repeated, always meant it...and I suppose to some degree it was happening. But never to the degree that it's happening now. There IS something different inside of me. But it still seems somewhat forced...like there is something inside still resisting...or maybe just afraid to accept that it COULD happen for me!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)